


Chasing The Skyline

by ChloeRhiannonX



Category: Total Drama
Genre: F/M, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-02-27 14:07:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2695844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChloeRhiannonX/pseuds/ChloeRhiannonX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even though I like being in your past, you got a bright future behind you.<br/>A million miles might be a long way away, but these two are determined to make it work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bitter Storm

**Author's Note:**

> Why hello there!  
> I would like to welcome you lovely folk to my NaNoWriMo 2014 winner!   
> Yes, I have done it again! With a grand total of 51654 words!  
> This is my second year completing NaNo and it has been one hell of a ride. For a long time I wasn't sure if I was going to do it again this year, then I've spent the whole month panicking that I wouldn't complete it on time. It's been hectic...But I did it! So, here we are again :D  
> Warning. This story contains a lot of sexual content. Implied and graphic descriptions of said sexual content. There are also a lot of OOC characters in this story, to which I apologise if I cause any offence, but it is all done to better suit the plot line.   
> Pairings (mentioned, implied and crushes): Courtney/Duncan, Bridgette/Geoff, Duncan/Gwen, Courtney/Alejandro, Courtney/Scott, Heather/Alejandro, Zoey/Mike, Courtney/Trent.   
> This story idea comes from the song All Of the Stars by Ed Sheeran. Every time I heard it this year, I could not get the idea of a Duncney long distance relationship out of my head. I then read Where Rainbows Ends (Love, Rosie) by Cecilia Ahern, and I fell even more in love with long distance relationships and I just knew that this was what I wanted to do for this years NaNo.   
> We have 19 chapters, plus a Prologue and an Epilogue! There will be weekly updates (hopefully!), which means we're pretty much set until mid-April with this story!   
> And now, without further ado, this is my NaNoWriMo 2014 novel...

_You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step - Martin Luther King Jr._

It was lively, Courtney had to say that. When Bridgette had told her about the New Years Eve party her boyfriend was throwing, she did not picture this in mind. Maybe a few people watching the countdown on TV, but no, Geoff had truly gone all out for the party. The sofa’s had been moved from the main room to create a dance floor, and a faintly rememberable song was playing from the DJ’s booth in the corner.   
It was also crowded. Very, very crowded, to the point where Courtney found herself exiting down the stairs to the basement. She found the sofa’s from upstairs down there, and they were occupied by a few people milling around, away from the loudness.   
“Courtney!” Bridgette grinned, jumping from her seat and grabbing her friends hands. They’d been friends long enough for Courtney to know Bridgette had been drinking. Her make-up was slightly smudged around her eyes and mouth, and if Bridgette had been sober she would have been in the bathroom fixing it right now. “You remember, Geoff,” she pointed towards her boyfriend, the party thrower, on the couch. “And that’s, Duncan.” Of course, Courtney knew them both, they had all gone to High school together, but she couldn't say she’d ever spoken to either of them before. “He’s single,” Bridgette giggled in her ear, her blonde curls tickling Courtney’s face.   
“Thanks, Bridge,” Courtney laughed, but Bridgette wasn't listening. She had started swaying to the music from upstairs before letting out a loud gasp.   
“I love this song!” She squealed- though Courtney doubted Bridgette had ever heard this song before- “Geoff, come dance with me!”   
The young man grinned at his girlfriend, letting her drag him away. Courtney watched with a smile, settling herself in their empty seats. She could feel his eyes on her as she did. Turning to face him, Courtney found he wasn't intimidated enough to turn his gaze away. Instead, he held out the fresh beer he had just uncapped for Geoff before he had disappeared, offering Courtney the drink instead.   
Courtney was not half as drunk as her best friend was, though Bridgette had always had a low alcohol tolerance. No matter how many times she bragged about the parties Geoff threw, Courtney had found the blonde to be the first one giggling like an idiot.   
So, she took the beer. It wasn't her first choice of drink, she had definitely had better, but she didn't say no to free alcohol. 

 

"You're crazy," he laughed, watching her hiccup over her words in attempt to get them out right.   
"But that's what everyone wanted me to do right, go to Harvard Law school?" Courtney snorted. "If I had told my parents that I had even applied to any other schools they would have disowned me. They both went to Harvard - it's where they met! But that doesn't mean that's what I want to do, you know?" Duncan didn't know. "Like, okay, the big dream is to become a lawyer, but I- I want to do something else. I want experience. I want to live for something other than pleasing my parents, you know?" Duncan was not a parent-pleaser, he did not know. "So that's why I am heading to Oxford University in September."  
"Why didn't you go this September?"  
"Because I want experience!" Courtney shouted into the night. "I want to live a little. You know where I'm heading in two weeks? Singida. You know where Singida is? Africa! East Africa! In two weeks time I am going to Africa to volunteer for six months and I'm going to build wells and educate children and you know why?" Duncan didn't know why, he could barely understand Courtney's slurred words as it was. "Because it's experience, Duncan! Don't you want experience?" Courtney hiccuped out the last few words, much to Duncan's enjoyment.  
Duncan didn't know what he wanted. He wasn't smart like Courtney was, he didn't impress his parents with grades, and his parents weren't push-y with him. His dad had tried to be, and was rather disappointed in his son, but his mother still loved him no matter what. She supported him through his decision not to go to college (not that there'd be many college's to accept him), and didn't push him to do anything that he didn't want to.   
Duncan got the feeling Courtney's parents weren't like that at all.  
He watched as she swayed from side to side on the rooftop. Maybe he was to blame for the one too many beers, but he knew she never would have opened up to him if he hadn't pushed those last few ones into her hand. He'd known Courtney for a long time, four whole years through High school. They'd never spoken a word, but everyone knew who Courtney was. Class president. Student council. She was the girl that led the petition against the removal of the drinking fountains, despite the fact no one used them.   
_They give character to the building_  
That was her argument, Duncan could remember it clearly. He didn't care about the water fountains himself, but there was something about watching this determined young girl rant and rave about the importance of them through every school event, through every home room and period, that always struck his curiosity.   
But here she was, sitting beside him, unraveling in the fading moonlight. There was a lot of anger built up inside her of, a lot of sadness, but even under all of that, Duncan could still see her determination. Her determination to be different, to break away from what is expected of her and do her own thing. Duncan had been doing that his whole life, his parents were just glad he had graduated on time and wouldn't have to face another year of High school. Not that he had plans for college. Courtney looked like the kind of person that had everything mapped out in front of her. Duncan didn't know what he was doing tomorrow.   
They didn't know how long they had been sat on the roof. They'd heard everyone screaming and shouting below, the countdown into the new year that neither of them acknowledged. They sat in silence, sometimes talking, asking about each other.  
"Do you see that?" Her slender fingers were pointed towards the horizon. The sky was edging with pink now, and he watched as her eyes squinted at the sunrise. "It's beautiful,"" she breathed, her head coming to rest on his shoulder and he didn't shrug it off. They watched as the sun came up between the buildings, and for a moment Duncan thought she'd fallen asleep on him. He moved his head to look down at Courtney's face, only to find her staring back up at him.   
They couldn't remember who leaned in first, their lips lightly touching in a tentative brush. It wasn't exciting or energetic, it was stained with the taste of beer and they could both say they had had better kisses. But it was different, as they pressed closer into each other, tongues licking, teeth biting, it wasn't something either had experienced before.   
Duncan's hand wound round Courtney's neck, his fingertips brushing the loose strands beneath her mess of a ponytail. Her nails dug into his biceps, holding him closer to her, urging him to not pull away.   
He leaned her backwards, lying her flat against the slanted rooftop, one of her legs hitched over his right hip. It was still early morning, no one was going to see them, but they didn't care either way. Courtney held him to her, his lips assaulting her throat, lowly gasps escaping her lips. He leaned in further, not holding back. 

 

The sun was bright through the window, but that wasn't the source of heat that she found herself crawling towards. Before her eyes were even open, she found herself pressed up against the warmth from under the covers. Her brain was starting to wake up, but it was the wet kiss that he placed on her forehead that fully woke her up. Duncan chuckled as Courtney's startled look, letting her back away form him, grabbing at the covers to cover her exposed upper body.   
They stared at each other for a moment, Courtney not letting the 'deer caught in the headlights' look. A smirk broke out across Duncan's face as he leaned his head back down on the pillow. He could hear Courtney physically gasp as realization hit her hard. They were both naked in a guest bedroom, of which Duncan had claimed as his home away from home at his best friends house.   
She did not look impressed when Duncan reopened his eyes. Courtney was already leaning over the side of the bed, grabbing at the clothes she could reach without exposing any more skin.   
Duncan watched with curiosity for a moment before shuffling his way towards her. He placed a delicate kiss against the small of her back. He instantly felt her froze against his lips.   
"Duncan..." She breathed heavily. Courtney's voice was hoarse, and she wanted to yell and scream and tell him to stop, but something in her mind told her that was not the way to go. She couldn't say she hadn't enjoyed last night. Even if it was the beer talking most of the time, Courtney couldn't say it didn't feel good to get so much off her chest at once. Duncan was a stranger to her, sure, but something had clicked last night between them, and now they had more than enough secrets to keep for each other.   
The young man sat up in bed, placing a hand on each of Courtney's hips, lightly squeezing her beneath his flexed fingers. Courtney tensed again. She didn't want him to touch her, she didn't want him to have the wrong impression. His chin came to rest of her shoulder, and she leaned her back against him. Her eyes never opened as they sat like that for a moment, and Courtney couldn't complain about how safe she felt, how happy she felt, just sitting there with him, stranger or not.   
"We shouldn't...." She tried, her words escaping her once again. Duncan adjusted their position, leaning himself further away, leaving Courtney feeling cold all of a sudden. "Last night was great. It was amazing." Duncan's stomach clenched. "But I'm leaving for six months in a few days time, I'm not going to be back until the middle of Summer. It's...it's not fair to you, to me, to both of us if we-"  
Duncan snorted. "Listen, Princess, I'm not looking for anything special here, believe me." He rolled out of his side of the bed, "A quicky during the morning after was all, but clearly that's not your style."   
She didn't turn to look at him again, but she heard the door slam shut after he left. Courtney would have cried had she been anyone else but herself. But she held it together, pulling on her own clothes and exiting the room through the same door he had, before she found herself too caught up in the perfect memories of the night before.


	2. Changing Current

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Courtney heads off to Africa for six months where, with the help of a new friend, she has a spiritual epiphany.

_Don't let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you love. And most importantly, be kind to others, even if you don't like them - Stacy London_

The nerves were eating at her. She'd never been on an airplane before, let alone traveled alone outside of the country. Now she was heading to another continent, another country, another city, another town. And she was alone.  
Courtney didn't feel the loneliness, she was more excited than that. This was something she had always wanted to do. She was ready to branch out against what her parents had always set up for her, which was something she had never done before.  
"Hey, stop worrying." Bridgette's smiling face came into Courtney's view. "Everything will be fine, you're going to have a great time and you're going to write to me every single day no matter what." The two girls embraced, and Courtney found herself infected by Bridgette's smile. She was going to have a great time, that much was certain.  
Her parents hadn't come to the airport with her, they'd said goodbye last night before Courtney had gone to bed. They were already at work by the time she'd woken up to catch her flight.  
Bridgette was here for the moral support, helping her through everything. She could sense her best friends hesitation to get on the plane. Bridgette had known Courtney since they were six years old, and she had never seen Courtney less than determine about anything.  
"I'm doing this," Courtney breathed. She grabbed the handle of her suitcase, throwing her carry-on over her shoulder. Bridgette gave her another quick hug before waving her off. Courtney headed towards her gate, towards the next great adventure.

 

 _The clouds are prettier up here_  
That was Courtney's first thought as she watched the view.  
She was still scared, nervous. She didn't know what was to come. For the first time in her life, Courtney did not have every moment of every day for the next six months planned out. It was a strange position to be in, but an exciting one at that.  
There had never been a moment where Courtney had been alone. She had always thrown herself into her friends, always hanging around with Bridgette, or her tutor group, the other members of the student council. There was something about always indulging herself in one activity or another that appealed to Courtney. Sitting on the plane was a boring activity for Courtney.  
Closing her own eyes, she thought back to New Years. It wasn't even a week ago, but so far this year was shaping up to be just as she expected: better. She hadn't been lying when she told Duncan that she wanted experience, a chance to change the expectations that were placed upon her.  
Duncan.  
They hadn't spoken since he'd left the bedroom. They hadn't spoken ever before that night, but Courtney couldn't seem to shake him from her mind. The thought of waking up in bed with him was not something she would have considered before- waking up in bed with anyone was a foreign thought to her. But the memory was playing round in her head, haunting her thoughts. It had been far from perfect, from what she remembered. It was sloppy and uncared for. Beer stained kisses, awkward touches. Courtney didn't have anything to compare it to, but even so she didn't feel like it would be any less special.  
That was behind her now. That chance had been blown and there was a six month separation between them. She'd quickly forget him, she hoped. 

 

The heat was a shock to Courtney's system. She had bordered the plan in minus numbers, now she found herself sweating in shorts and a t-shirt. She carried a large bottled water with her everywhere on the first day, refusing to be without it for more than a mere second.  
She found herself in a training facility known as the Salvation Army compound. It reminded her of a run-down classroom. It was a home away from home, to which she felt some sort of comfort. Courtney was the first person to turn up, taking a seat to the left of the horseshoe arranged tables. It wasn't too long before other people began filing in, including their guide for the next few months.  
Courtney was one of the few staying for the extended trip. They ran volunteer services for as little as two weeks, but Courtney knew she needed something to take up all of her time, not just part of it.  
The guide introduced themselves, and Courtney instantly started scribbling down notes. It truly was like the first day of a new school year, where they started with ice-breakers, introductions, games, and brief information about what to expect over the course that they would all be volunteering.  
By the end of the day, Courtney was bouncing on her feet, completely elated to be part of such an amazing project.  
Day two was the same schedule. The small group were shuffled into the classroom again, this time with more preparation for the upcoming weeks. Half of the day they would sit around discussing the theory side of things, while the other half was on their feet, getting into mock practical side of things.  
During the lunch break, Courtney found herself making friends. They were a small group of ten people, and Courtney instantly gravitated to a girl around her age.  
She was a lot paler than Courtney was, and her hair was a lot darker naturally, but Courtney took note of the teal highlights that were fading out. She introduced herself as Gwen.  
Throughout the rest of the day, and day three of their training, Courtney and Gwen found themselves pairing together for everything. Courtney learnt that this was Gwen's fourth year volunteering. She usually came out in the middle of summer for four weeks, along with her mother and younger brother. This year she had wanted to try something different and was going for the six month course, just like Courtney.  
Courtney felt a sigh of relief every time Gwen struck up a conversation. Courtney had always been a well liked person, but the people she had been in school with since Kindergarten knew who she was. This was the first time she was being thrown into a new environment, where she knew no one else. It was intimidating. But having Gwen at her side was like a lifted weight, someone she could rely on to make the next six months more enjoyable than what they would have been if she was alone.  
Day four brought around medical awareness. Courtney found herself enjoying the different diseases she should be preventing, making notes of them to talk to Bridgette about in her letters, as her best friend was off to nursing school in September.  
Courtney found out that Gwen lived just outside of Muskoka, just on the other side of the lakes. It made Courtney's heart lighten up knowing that this friendship was going to last past the volunteer experience. They had only known each other for forty-eight hours, but there was something about Gwen that Courtney found a friend in.  
Day five was their final day of training. It was more a recap day, just to finalize everything they had learnt about the project they were joining. It was a half day, allowing everyone to head back to their temporary living arrangements to pack for their journey in the morning.  
Courtney found herself sitting on Gwen's bed, watching her new found friend pack. She'd been a little over excited herself and packed everything the night before.  
"I hope we get to stay at the same place," Gwen added nonchalantly. "Usually we have larger groups during training, around thirty, and then we get split into two groups." Courtney pretended to be distracted, reading the pamphlets they had been given as an extra guide. She couldn't bear the thought of being separated from the one friend she had met outside of the school system. "But I think they've done it differently this year. They've split us up already, and trained us at different times. Maybe. I don't know." The other girl sounded confused, much to Courtney's enjoyment. Gwen was very knowledgeable about the experience, having been so many times before.  
Gwen had explained to Courtney how she had felt alone too when they'd first arrived, after Courtney had mentioned her fear. Her brother was still in High school, so he and her mother had to stay behind until the summer, where they would be joining them for a few weeks before all heading home to Ontario together.  
The two sat and talked for a while, right up until lights out, when Courtney went back to her own temporary home for one last night. In the morning they were transferring to a near-by village where they would be starting the actual project.  
Courtney barely slept that night due to the dancing butterflies that infested her stomach. 

 

The town of Milade was quiet and dusty, but after a full two weeks, Courtney was already used to it. Her water bottle was still her trust side-kick, but she found herself adjusting the heat a lot easier. She knew it would only get hotter as the summer months approached.  
There were 560 households in the town, with around 2700 natives. Everyone was housed, but it was falling apart. The small hurts that they lived in were crumbling, which was why the volunteers were out there to build as many brick-based buildings as they could in the short amount of time they had.  
Courtney found herself learning a lot more from the villagers than she imagined. She was already starting to get excited about the harvest in spring, wanting to try her hand at all the town had to offer.  
There was also a lot of cattle, being almost three times as many animals as there were people. Courtney had mostly stayed away from that side of things. She watched Gwen get invested in keeping tabs on the animals, but Courtney couldn't say that was something she wanted to get herself involved with.  
The two teenagers had found themselves helping out at the local primary school through most of the day. They both loved being around the children more than they thought they would. They taught English mostly, helping the kids understand the language better, but they were always around the help with the other classes.  
It had been a very long time since Courtney had used a chalkboard, but she couldn't say she didn't enjoy it as much as anything else on the trip.  
The other main building in town was the dispensary, which was in the final stages of construction. There was an uproar settling around, everyone buzzing for the grand opening. Courtney herself was very interested to see the final project, even though she had had no hand in it's building. There was just something about the swell in her stomach every time she walked past the almost complete dispensary that made her eager to jump into her own housing project. They were still waiting on a few last minute supplies before they could begin, a minor delay that wouldn't change anything. 

 

_Courtney,_  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  
Nineteen at last. You're getting old now, grandma ;)  
I can already hear you lecturing me for using a winky face in a letter, but I don't care. Today is your birthday and you do not get to lecture me on your birthday, missy.  
I hope everything is going well. I hope you're enjoying an extra slice of cake today, and I hope you get presents. I still have yours for when you come home, don't think I would forget just because I'm not there with you.  
I hope you at least told someone it's your birthday. You don't deserve to spend it on your own.  
Nothing much is going on this end. Spending all my free time with Geoff, wearing him down with my constant presence. I don't think he ever realized quite how much you and I spent together over the years. Now that you're not here, I don't have a whole lot to do. In fact, my life is very much a bore without you, birthday girl.  
I hope everything is going well on your end. Gwen sounds like a nice person. Should I be worried that you're replacing me?  
Of course I shouldn't. No one else in the world would put up with you like I do.  
I know you're worrying about Duncan. Stop it right now! He's perfectly fine, and there's no need to beat yourself up over a boy. Haven't you taught me that much in life? I say you tear up the letter, throw it in the fire and forget that he exists. If he wasn't my boyfriend best friend I'd gladly forget his existence.  
But, really, Courtney. You are worth so much more than this boy. He's an idiot for what he did to you, you didn't deserve it. And you know that he's not the one for you. He's a dickhead. You need a good boy in your life, someone worth shedding tears over.  
I love you very much, remember that. Chicks before dicks, bros before hoes, and all that good stuff. I'll be here for you no matter what boys come and go.  
Love always, Bridgette. 

 

"I see you staring at the same letter everyday." The tanned teenager looked up to see her companion. "Why don't you send it?" Courtney sighed. Gwen was right: she had been staring at the letter every day for the last four weeks since she had written it. All other letters she had sent. Bridgette. Her parents. But this one was a nagging feeling she had, one that made her sick to her stomach with anxiety.  
It was addressed to Duncan.  
Courtney had argued with herself for days before finally penning the letter. It was only once she read back over it the first time did she realize how needy she sounded. She wasn't desperate, she just wanted to say something to him, anything. They had parted on bad terms and the guilt was eating Courtney alive. She could feel her brain distorting the memory of the morning after, but that didn't stop her from writing out the letter, apologizing for what she had said.  
"It's for a boy," Courtney sighed, hoping that would explain everything. Sadly it had the opposite effect, peaking Gwen's interest some more. "He...He's nothing special, I guess." Which Courtney didn't find to be a lie. "But we hooked up at New Years, he took my virginity, left on bad terms, and now I can't stop thinking about him."  
"Sounds like it sucks for you."  
Courtney nodded in agreement. It did suck for her. Now she felt like she was left pinning for a boy who had probably already forgotten her existence. She had contemplated many time about ripping up the letter, or burning it at the bonfire during the semi-weekly community get together. She even considered mailing it to him. But nothing felt right. So she sat and she stared, hoping the words would change themselves at will and not haunt her thoughts for most of the day.  
"My ex is kind of the complete opposite," Gwen told Courtney, getting herself comfortable. "He was too clingy, wouldn't leave me alone. But not in a romantic way, you know? He just wanted sex all the time. It was exhausting."  
Courtney turned to Gwen, tilting her head as she listened to the story. Courtney had never heard someone discuss their relationship with her before, she only had Bridgette for gossip, and Bridgette was pretty secretive about her and Geoff's sex life. It felt good to have someone to confide in her. For a moment, she forgot about her own troubles.

 

_My dearest Bridgette-_  
Just kidding. I know how much you hate formalities.  
The weather is getting crazy hot already, and it's only March! I never thought I'd miss snow days so much.  
Gwen and I have managed to grab a good building site, close to the second best well in the village so we're in constant supply of fresh, cold water.  
And to answer your question from your previous letter: no. You don't have to be jealous of Gwen at all, you're still my bestest friend in the whole wide world. A couple thousand miles can't stop us.  
But I miss you more and more everyday. I wish you'd come out here with me, you'd have so much fun. The kids are adorable and I'm learning so much. This is everything I could have asked for from this trip.  
I need to drag you out here next year with me, no doubt I'll be coming back.  
It's scary to think I'm already over a third of the way into the program. It seems like yesterday we were hugging at the airport, you being the calm and collected one while I panic like hell!  
I still have that letter to Duncan in my pack. Are you sure he's mentioned me to Geoff? Or are you trying to make me feel better?  
Don't worry about me, Bridge. I'm doing great.  
Talk real soon.  
All my love,  
Courtney xx 

 

Courtney never found herself to be interested in sports, but she was definitely interested in watching the local boys go against a few of the volunteers, Gwen included, in a round of Soccer.  
She sat on the sidelines, cheering for her team, smiling like an idiot. It was their day off and they were enjoying the never ending sun.  
There was something about just watching the world go by on days like these that allowed Courtney to feel an inner peace. It was the only times she found herself not worrying about things that were going on at home. She was completely emerged in the moment.

 

Every time they completed a house, Courtney and Gwen would congratulate themselves with an extra long chug of water. They liked to stand back and admire what they had created from scratch. It wasn't just the volunteers from outside, but the villagers from Milade itself often helped out, all wanting the best for their home.  
Courtney could feel her brain swelling with knowledge. Four months ago she would never have known how to build a house from the ground up, now she could do it blindfolded. Courtney jumped from one area of the house to the other, helping build walls, weave roofs, lay groundwork. She didn't want to stick to just one thing, she wanted to experience every aspect of building.  
The pride she felt in the accomplished task was nothing she had ever felt before. It spread through her body like an internal reward. Her chest tightened, stomach fluttered. She had never felt better.  
Gwen slung her arm around Courtney's shoulder, "Cheers!" They laughed, bumping water bottles.  
Some of the kids were running around already, playing tag around the new houses. Gwen ran off after them, her short ponytail shaking behind her head. Courtney laughed harder, shaking her head at the antics. It felt good that everything had fallen into a routine. Courtney was a stickler for routines. Sometimes her mind would wander off, back to home, but she was starting to catch herself doing it and stopped. She still wrote regularly home. She never heard from her parents, but Bridgette was still sending letters every few days. From what her best friend told her, she wasn't missing out on much.

 

The last thing Courtney learnt about Gwen, was that she was nothing like her family. Even in the sweltering heat Gwen's clothes always consisted of dark colors. The woman that stepped off the buggy and immediately pulled Gwen in for a hug was wearing a bright pink jump suit. If it hadn't been for the hug, Courtney would never have guessed the two women were related. Gwen was skinny, looking more underfed than genuinely that shape. She was short in size with a rounded face and less defined features. Florence Burns was tall, slender, with a figure that every girl in Courtney's High school classes would have died for. Her nose was pointed, matching her chin. The only similarity Courtney could find between the mother and daughter were their chocolate eyes, warm no matter what they were looking at.  
Courtney thought back to her own mother, how most people had always struggled to tell them apart from a distance as Courtney got older. She found she had inherited all of her looks from her mother, as well as most of her personality. There was so little of her father in her, but that never seemed to bother her.  
Liam, the younger brother, looked more like their mother, but not enough to bare a striking resemblance. He was in cut-off jeans and a baggy t-shirt to hide his lanky frame. He towered over his elder sister, but that didn't stop Gwen from jumping up onto the buggy's steps and ruffling his 'just-rolled-out-of-bed' hair style. 

 

The last two weeks were the fastest. Courtney did everything in her power to slow time down, but she was still boarding the plane at the end of it.  
It had been a hard goodbye to all of the children that she'd watched grow over the last six months. The villagers had thrown them all one last party. It was nothing compared to the party Courtney had attended for New Years Eve, but it ended on a much better note for her. In the end she had found herself in Gwen's bed instead of her own, all cuddled up under the blanket, making plans to keep in touch no matter what. They didn't live far away, but Courtney feared losing her new found friend.  
By the time her flight number was called, Courtney's nerves were through the roof all over again. She didn't feel like things had changed on the outside, but on the inside she felt like a new person. She didn't know how she'd feel, falling into her old life again. Seeing Bridgette, seeing her parents. They would all be the same as before, but Courtney knew she had changed over the last six months. She felt different, she felt better. She felt like a new person all over again, with a fresh start beneath her belt.


	3. Slow Breeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duncan deals with the next six months of his life, which included the traumatizing doing of growing up.

_Don't let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you love. And most importantly, be kind to others, even if you don't like them - Stacy London_

  
Duncan's mind was reeling. It had been two days since New Year's Day, and two days since had woken up in bed with Courtney Taylor.   
He barely knew the girl, but that had never stopped him before. What did stop him was the fact that it had been more than forty-eight hours and she was still playing on his mind.   
Duncan laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling for longer than anticipated. He had no where to be, he didn't really care.   
The knock on his bedroom door distracted him from his thoughts. He figured it was his dad, getting a head start on his daily dose of 'you're a disappointment, son' speech.   
Duncan rolled himself out of bed, and was surprised to find his mother at the door instead.   
"Morning, sweetie, wanted to make sure you were coming down for breakfast."   
"Uhh..." Duncan stalled, "Sure." He bunched his eyebrows together, confused at his mother's presence in the morning. She was dressed for work in her cop uniform, and by now she was usually out patrolling the streets in her squad car.   
Either way, he followed her into their 'cozy' kitchen. That was what his mother had always called it: cozy. Cozy just meant small, to Duncan. With a family of seven, they had needed a bigger place for years. Now that four of them have moved out, either of their own accord or for college, the Evans were finally thinking about leaving.   
"Oh look, the great disappointment finally got off his ass."  
 _There it is_  
Duncan glared at his father, who was casually leaning against the counter-top on the other side of the kitchen (which was about a three feet away). He was dressed in the same uniform his wife was, being in the same line of police work.   
"Plans today, Duncan?" The older man sighed. He was graying around the edges, and no doubt Duncan knew the blame for that would be on him for that. _'Seven fucking children, and we still ended up with a stupid fucker like you.'_  
Duncan didn't reply.   
"Duncan, son," his mother spoke sweetly, placing her hand on his arm. "We need to talk."   
He'd heard that before. The dreaded 'we need to talk' line, though he was sure it was supposed to come from girls that were about to dump your ass, not from your parents. Regardless, Duncan took a seat at the cramped table, carefully moving his eyes between his mother and father. Mrs. Evans looked worried, while Mr. Evans looked like he couldn't give a shit what happened to his son. Duncan believed that much to be true.   
"If you don't want to go to college, that's fine with us," Mrs. Evans informed her son. It was the same thing she'd told him before graduation last year. "We will always support you, won't we David?" David snorted. "The thing is, Duncan, you need to be doing something with your life. You're out partying all the time, coming back all hours of the night, if you even come back at all." Mrs. Evans was starting to sound distressed. Duncan watched her carefully. He wouldn't put it past his mother to be in cahoots with his father, out to get him with the guilt trip.   
"What your mother is saying, Duncan, is that if you don't man up and get your shit together, we're throwing you out."  
"David!"  
"No, Angela, he needs to here this." Mr. Evans turned his attention back on his son. "If you don't stop pulling your childish stunts, man up and get yourself a job, we're cutting you off, Duncan, you hear? You will be out on the streets, not a penny to your name- don't you roll your eyes at me! I. AM. SERIOUS!"

 

  
Geoff: About time you got your ass online!  
Duncan: Ugh, old man kicking my ass   
Duncan: again  
Geoff: Sounds rough, mate.   
Duncan: Nothing I can't handle  
Geoff: Anything bad?  
Duncan: Nah, just his new 'grow the fuck up' talks he wanted to try out  
Duncan: Threatened to kick me out and everything  
Geoff: Oh shit  
Duncan: He won't do it  
Duncan: Ma won't let him  
Duncan: You still coming by later?  
Geoff: Nah, Bridgette's coming   
Duncan: Coming or cumming?  
Geoff has logged off. 

 

  
Duncan was weary of his mother's kindness. She had never been truly horrible to him, but it was like she was trying extra hard not to piss him off. Duncan spent most of his time in his bedroom or at Geoff's, and there was no where in between the two for him. Duncan would often come home from Geoff's to find his father screaming, his mother trying to console him, but ever since the intervention they'd had in the kitchen, Duncan had been coming home to his bed made, his laundry done, dinner on the table. It was completely out of the norm for his family.   
Not that Duncan was complaining.   
It went on like that for a while, until one day Duncan came home to find all the wires in his bedroom had been cut. No TV, no Xbox, no PlayStation. Most of his games were on the floor in pieces, and there was a packed bag on his bed.   
No one was home, no one for his to yell and scream at. The anger built up inside Duncan, grinding his teeth in frustration.   
_He had no fucking right_  
Instead, Duncan grabbed the bag and walked the two blocks back to Geoff's house. He'd only left because Geoff had told him Bridgette was coming round, and God forbid Duncan and Bridgette were in the same together after the New Years incident. Bridgette hadn't quite stopped glaring him after, he assumed, Courtney had spilled everything to her.   
He arrived at his best friends house, knocking on the door and waiting for him to answer. Instead it was Morgan, his younger sister, telling Duncan that Geoff was at work.   
"What? Geoff doesn't work," Duncan scoffed.   
"Yeah he does," Morgan countered, not giving any care for Duncan's attitude towards her. To him, she was just Geoff's annoying younger sister. Which she actually was. "He works at Uncle Rick's auto shop, the one just past KFC." Duncan knew where Uncle Rick's auto shop was, he'd passed by there countless times. It was owned by Geoff and Morgan's real uncle, but it was a habit around town for everyone to call him uncle Rick. He'd always been a big hit with the teenagers at all the local High schools who had just wrecked their parents car after a wild night out, as uncle Rick was cheap enough and very discreet. It was where he earned most of his money. 

 

  
It all happened too fast for Duncan to remember. One minute he's helping Geoff figure out what the rattling noise in the trunk was, and the next uncle Rick has him working at the auto shop five days a week.   
He'd shown up to give Geoff a good piece of his mind for lying to him about the job. Geoff had apologized after he'd got over his own anger, and some confusion. Apparent;y he'd been ashamed or something, Duncan hadn't listened too much.   
They'd argued for a while before Geoff announced he had to get back to work. That was where the rattling came into the story,and the rest was history.   
Duncan couldn't say he didn't enjoy the routine that working at the auto shop brought him. It gave his parents an excuse not to kick him out, as Geoff had said:  
"My ma won't let you sleep in our spare room forever."  
Mrs. Evans had been over the moon when Duncan had come home with the good news, Mr. Evans was dubious. He thought his son couldn't handle the responsibility that came with a job, and was more than prepared to keep a packed bag for when he fell through. Duncan was just more determined to prove him wrong.   
By the end of the month, Duncan had bought himself a new TV and PlayStation, and was still saving up for the Xbox. His father had sent off the broken ones to be rewired, and planned on giving them to Duncan's younger brother. Duncan was even more pissed off with him for that, but bit back his anger for a long time. He wanted to get one-up on his dad once and for all.   
By the end of the second month, Duncan was working over time both in the garage and on the phone lines. As it was only a small company, there were very few workers actually there, and Duncan found the environment much better for him. High school had been a nightmare due to overcrowding, you couldn't move anywhere or be heard by anyone over the mass. At the auto shop, Duncan felt like he fit in for a change, no matter how reluctant he had been to start with. 

 

  
"What's she doing?" Duncan asked, tossing his keys onto the office desk. Bridgette was sat in the swivel chair, her blonde hair curtaining her face as she hunched over, neatly scrawling across a piece of paper.   
"She's writing to Courtney." Geoff called out, pulling on his overalls in the corner of the room.   
Duncan felt his stomach clench at her name. He had been forgetting about her recently. Still, he feigned ignorance, "Who?"  
As suspected, Bridgette glared at him, her olive eyes very unforgiving. Duncan could feel himself starting to squirm.   
"And hasn't she heard of a phone?" He snorted.   
"She's in Africa, you ignorant buffoon!" Bridgette snapped, which even Geoff jumped at. He quickly stepped between the two, ushering Bridgette's back to her letter as he grabbed Duncan's arm, violently escorting him out of the office. 

 

  
Duncan couldn't help the laugh that escaped his mouth. All Geoff had done was bitch about how he wasn't getting laid now that the exam period was coming up. Bridgette had thrown herself into studying for her placement exams. If she aced these, she was getting into the nursing school of her choice and that was all she cared about at the moment.   
Duncan liked to rub it in that he was getting laid when and where he wanted. With no work on weekends, Duncan found himself out crashing parties every Friday and Saturday night, waking up in a strangers bed the next morning with only the memory that he was completely empty inside.   
Sex was sex to Duncan. It had never been this big deal, and he never wanted it to be. But since Courtney had jumped into his bed at New Years, he couldn't find himself feeling comfortable fucking any other girls. He woke up in the morning, finding he'd already been left, and he felt sick with himself. 

 

  
"Just because Courtney rejected you-"  
"Woah!" Duncan interjected, holding his hand up to Bridgette. "Courtney did not fucking reject me."  
"That's not what she says."  
"Well, Malibu, don't you think she's going to spin the story so that she wins?"  
"I highly doubt she'd lie to me just to get her way, Duncan. She rejected you. Cold, hard rejection, and you're struggling to believe it."  
Duncan had to hold back from punching Bridgette. She had no right to speak to him like that, especially not about Courtney. It was none of her God damned business what had gone down between the two of them over New Years, though obviously Courtney had thought differently.  
Courtney.  
Even now, Duncan was still having a hard time keeping her off his mind. He had headbutted enough walls to know that she wasn't leaving his thoughts anytime soon. He felt ridiculous. He didn't pine over girls, they pined for him!   
It had been a long five months since the dreaded morning, and it was going to be another long seven months before he could screw some other chick over for New Years and replaced Courtney's memory in his head.   
It was unfamiliar territory for Duncan. He'd never had a girlfriend before, just casual fuck bunnies for his own pleasure. It was one of the reasons Bridgette hated him so. He had not only screwed over her best friend, but she was also afraid that he was going to coerce Geoff back into the old ways before she had gotten to him.  
Duncan cast his mind back to when Geoff had first started dating Bridgette. He'd been such a sap, trying to work up the courage to ask her out in Sophomore year. He'd watched them flick notes back and fore for months before he finally announced he was taking her out. Duncan was sickened by the thought. First of all, it was Bridgette. Dumb, giggly Bridgette that looked like she should be living on the coast in her Malibu beach house, spending all day rolling around in the sand. Secondly, it was still Bridgette.  
Needless to say, they were still yet to warm up to each other three years later.

 

  
It wasn't the first time he had walked into the office to find them making out on the desk, but it was the first time in two months. Exams were clearly finished, and Geoff obviously had his sex drive set on high, which was probably why he had his girlfriend pinned to the desk that Duncan needed to place his paperwork on.   
"For fucks sake, get a room!" He snapped at the couple, but wasn't actually angry with them. Duncan was used to walking in on the two blondes going at it. Usually they were wearing a lot less clothes.   
"Jealous much?" Bridgette giggled, removing Geoff's hands from her waist (much to his visible disappointment). Duncan was starting to wonder exactly how much of Courtney's bitchiness had rubbed off on Bridgette. He never remembered her being this mean or even this outgoing when she'd first started dating Geoff. Back then, Duncan remembered, Bridgette had been a bumbling idiot that blushed over Geoff holding her hand.   
"Jealous? Sweetheart, I get laid twice as often as you do," he replied wittily.  
Bridgette rolled her eyes and Geoff walked away, allowing them to argue it out. 

 

  
Duncan had his hands glued to his ears as he entered the office mid-June. Bridgette was jumping up and down on the spot, squealing in a high enough pitch to alert the neighborhood dogs. She had a letter clutched in one hand, and Duncan doubted she had her exam results that early. His stomach was already starting to feel strange, clenching and twisting in...anticipation? Fear? He didn't know.  
"What's got Malibu so excited?" He questioned her boyfriend.   
"Courtney's coming home today."


	4. Strong Current

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Courtney returns home and the sinking feeling in her stomach continues on.

_No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again - Buddha_

The landing was smooth, but Courtney's stomach was tied up in knots. She had said her goodbyes to Gwen and her family as they collected their luggage, the promise to keep in touch hanging in the air.  
Courtney headed towards the entrance she had entered through all those months ago. She felt strange, unsettled, going back to somewhere that hadn't changed when she felt that she had.  
Six months ago she had been scared, nervous, now she was confident in herself. She knew what she wanted to do, where she was heading.  
Things were looking up.  
It Courtney a moment, but then she saw Bridgette, standing exactly where Courtney had left her. There was a wide grin across her pale face, a smile that Courtney didn't realize she had missed so much until that moment.  
They had always stuck everything out together, never being apart for longer than a matter of days. The last six months had been challenging on them both, but Courtney could feel the swell of pride as she had stepped off the plane. She'd accomplished what she had set off to do, and Bridgette had exclaimed in several letters how proud she was of her best friend.  
Courtney dropped her shoulder bag, running dramatically towards her best friend, was was running just as dramatically towards her. They made a scene of embracing, crying hysterically.  
"You look so different!" The blonde cried, cupping Courtney's cheeks in her hands, scanning her face over.  
The smile that broke out on Courtney's face mirrored Bridgette's. "You look exactly the same," the brunette sniffled.  
They hugged again, holding each other close. People were still staring, but most had grown bored of the display. It wasn't uncommon for people to think the two were involved romantically, which always proved spectacle in their city.  
Courtney and Bridgette were closer than most friends. They had both gone through so much since they had met in first grade, and while most other 'inseparable duos' had lost their way, they were the two that had stuck it out through every up and down.  
Bridgette grabbed her best friends bag, hauling it over her shoulder and Courtney pulled her suitcase behind her. She'd only taken minimal luggage, and it had proved worth it.  
The two couldn't stop grinning, always stealing glances at each other as they walked back to the car in silence. They had a lot to catch up on. Letters proves to be one thing, but actually seeing each other in person was overwhelming.  
No one else had kept up with Courtney while she was in Singida. Her parents never wrote back, for all she knew they had fled the country as soon as her plane had taken off. Bridgette was the only other person she had wrote to, and they had exchanged letters every couple of days.  
The letter addressed to Duncan had stayed hidden under her pillow since the day she wrote it. It was now neatly packed up at the bottom of her bag, folded between the pages of her notebook.  
"It was incredible, Bridge," Courtney exclaimed, her eyes still wide in awe as she thought back to it all. "The people, the culture, the food. You have go to come back with me one year." Bridgette listened intently to everything her best friend rambled on about. She had heard it all in the letters, but hearing Courtney recount the tale in person was mesmerizing. She had never seen her best friend so involved in anything before. "I just learnt so much about the environment, about myself."  
Bridgette giggled. "I'll let you know if I ever need a house built from sand and stone," she joked. 

 

"So, is there a reason you smell like oil?" Courtney questioned, scrunching up her nose as they got out of the car. She hadn't noticed it at the airport, but being cramped inside Bridgette's car with her, the windows rolled up, she had noticed the putrid stench.  
"I spent most of my time at the auto shop now," the blonde explained, hauling Courtney's suitcase from the back seat of her Sedan. "Geoff works there, and his uncle doesn't mind me hanging around, so it's a great way for us to actually spend time together."  
Courtney smiled at the thought of the happy couple. She had been a bit weary of Geoff at first, not sure what his true intentions were with Bridgette, but once she'd gotten to know him she found him to be a very goofy, hopeless romantic. They got along well. 

 

As suspected, no one was home.  
Courtney took her shoulder bag and suitcase up to her room, casually placing them by the doorway. She felt a wave of nostalgia hit as she looked around. It wasn't like she had forgotten where her bedroom was, or what it was like to live in it, but it felt different. Cold. It didn't feel like home anymore, and Courtney couldn't hide her disappointment.  
It was known that her parents spent a lot of time out at work. Courtney had done her best to keep herself occupied so that she wasn't faced with an empty house often. But now she had no plans for the rest of the summer, she imagined herself lazing around the house and it scared Courtney like nothing else.  
Of course, it wasn't true. Bridgette would drag her to all sorts of activities, and Gwen had already text her asking for a meet-up so they could see each other in their 'natural habitats', as she's put it.  
There was still a small pull inside Courtney's chest, one that she took for home sickness for Milade. It may have been temporary, but she missed it too much already. 

 

The next morning was spent at Bridgette's house. Bridgette was using her best friend as an envelope sealer so she could send out some last minute nurse school applications.  
Courtney was starting to get worried that Bridgette would be moving a very long way away from home, with some of the places she was applying to. Then Courtney would remember she was leaving for Oxford, England in September.  
It was like Africa had been preparing them to be apart for the next four years. At least during the school year they could text and Skype and talk on the phone for hours on end at the end of each day.  
Bridgette had always been a homebody, though. Courtney was wishing that her best friend would get into the nursing school of her choice in September. She had the credits for it, she had the transfer documents all ready to be deployed. The only thing missing were her exam results. There was still a few more weeks before they would get sent out and Bridgette would truly know where she was going to take up residence for the next five years.  
"I promised Geoff I'd drop him off some lunch," the blonde announced at midday. "Do you want to stay here, I won't be long?"  
Courtney thought for a moment before standing up. "A run in the car would be good," she replied, stretching out her legs.  
The auto shop wasn't too far away, a couple of minutes drive. After Bridgette had retrieved the sandwiches she'd made up from the refrigerator, they were off.  
Courtney had always loved Bridgette's car. It was second-hand, given to her by her parents when she turned sixteen. It was run-down, and spent more time in the garage than on the road, but they had had so many adventures in it over the last three years. They both loved to drive through the city in the middle of the night, stopping at the nearest fast food place before continuing on, past the lakes and into the next city.  
The nostalgia was starting to get to Courtney, and she was grateful to get out of the car when they pulled up outside Uncle Rick's auto shop.  
Geoff greeted the two girls with bear hugs, pulling them close to him in turn.  
"I never thought I'd miss your face," Geoff laughed. Courtney made a show of pushing him away playfully as he accepted his lunch from his girlfriend. The three walked back inside, where Geoff gave Courtney a very brief tour of the auto shop before resigning to the office.  
He took a seat on the edge of the desk and Bridgette threw himself down into the main chair. Courtney stood awkwardly in the doorway, not quite knowing where she fit in.  
"Bridge says Africa went well," Geoff started, biting into his sandwich.  
The brunette nodded. "Yeah, it was amazing."  
"You also says you plan on taking her with you next time," he continued. "But I think we need to talk about that." Courtney knew he was only joking, but the scowl on her face wasn't meant for him.  
What caught her eye was outside of the office, peeking out from under one of the cars on the floor.  
The neon green Mohawk that haunted her dreams.  
She swallowed her instincts to say anything, returning to the conversation as if nothing was wrong, but it was. Everything felt wrong. Her insides were twisting and her chest never felt so tight.  
"I'm going to go get some air," Courtney told the couple a few moment later. "The smell in here is getting to me," she lied, but turned away before checking their reaction. She was sure her legs would give her away, but somehow she managed to make it back to the Sedan in time before they gave way and she collapsed, leaning up against the trunk.  
Courtney really was struggling for breath, positive something was physically pushing down on her lungs. Maybe she could convince Bridgette to take her to the hospital so they could admit her for a while. Surely there was something wrong inside her head because even now she couldn't get him off her mind.  
It obviously wasn't him under the car: Duncan had never worked a day in his life. She remembered most of their conversation from that night, six months ago. Duncan had no plans, no future. Courtney had spent too long convincing herself that he was not the person for her, and she was still sure of this thought even now six months later.  
 _Six months._  
Time had flown way too fast for her liking. She couldn't believe it had been half a year since that morning when he had walked out on her, without so much as a final word. And yet she could still hear his voice in her head, telling her all of his drunken secrets.  
It disgusted her, and her sick to her stomach, and yet he still infiltrated her thoughts to the core. Playing on her mind like a deadly virus. No matter how many times she would shake her head, nothing ever came of it.  
"Are you alright?" For a second she thought it was him, he had affected her that much, but she turned to see Bridgette, a look of worry crossing the blondes face as she watched the scene.  
"Yeah, I'm fine, not feeling too good." Bridgette nodded her head in understanding, something Courtney had always admired about her best friend. She never pushed for information. Instead, she agreed to take Courtney home, but the thought made her stomach twist even more. 

 

For the first time since Freshman year and Courtney had caught the flu, she spent the day in bed. Didn't get up for breakfast or lunch, keeping a snack box at her bedside table the night before. Courtney spent her day flicking through the channels on her TV, texting Gwen and assuring Bridgette that she was perfectly fine and was not dying of some unknown disease.  
Then again, it was an unknown disease. The way she was still thinking about him twenty four hours later. The way she was still thinking about him six months later. She could only hope she wouldn't still be feeling like this a year down the road, she hated the way it made her act.  
Nothing special had gone down between the two. It was just sex. Courtney couldn't understand why her brain felt it was so much more than that.  
Instead she tried to busy herself, getting lost in the Spanish Soap Opera's she barely understood, and laughing at Gwen's cheesy attempt to cheer her up. 

 

It was a week of moping around the house before Bridgette finally came to drag her outside. The blonde was adamant that Courtney could not spend all day wallowing in self-pity, worrying about something she had no idea about.  
Courtney had never kept secrets from Bridgette before, and through the letters over the six months she had conveyed her feelings for Duncan to her best friend. But speaking about it in person, talking about him out loud was something she couldn't bear to do.  
Talking to Gwen had been easy; she didn't know him. Bridgette was dating his best friend, and, not that she didn't trust Bridgette with her prized China doll collection, she didn't want word getting back to Duncan about how pathetic she was.  
She felt useless.  
She felt degraded.  
She felt betrayed by her own body for feeling the way she did. Courtney was trying everything not to admit it out loud, but by the time she'd reached the lake with Bridgette, watching all the couples feeding each other ice cream across the picnic tables got to her.  
"Bridge," Courtney sighed. "I think I have a problem."  
"What kind of problem?" The blonde questioned, looking innocently over at Courtney.  
The brunette heaved a deeper sigh. "A boy problem."  
"Is this about..." Courtney nodded. Bridgette knew. Bridgette always knew. The paler girl slung her arm around Courtney's shoulders, pulling her in close until the brunette was resting her head on her best friends shoulder. "I think he likes you too, if that helps at all."  
"That sounds like bullshit to me, Bridge. Why would he like me? He wanted nothing to do with me, remember?"  
"Yeah, but that's because you were going away for six months."  
"And I'll be going away for the next four years," Courtney countered. She weighed out her options, and it wasn't fair on anyone. Four years was a long time, and though she would be back for Christmas and summer, it wouldn't be the same. England was a long way away, too far for anyone to travel to, too far for Courtney to commute everyday. "I feel like the world hates me."  
Bridgette frowned. She hated seeing Courtney like this. She had always been so strong, so independent. She'd never really been into guys during school, only focusing on her goals. It felt like an unexpected trick of fate for Courtney to be so upset over something she would have found trivial a year ago.


	5. West Breeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Courtney returns home and causes Duncan all kinds of problems.

_No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again - Buddha_

Duncan didn't have to ask why Bridgette had left so suddenly. He could see the edge of her brunette hair as she leaned against the blondes beat up ride.   
Duncan quickly turned away, going back to the car her was working on, trying to fight his thoughts.   
It wasn't until Duncan sent a hubcap rolling through the middle of the shop did Geoff approach him. He could tell something was bothering his friend, and he was concerned that it was Courtney. No one had expected her to show up at the auto shop with Bridgette, but Geoff should have expect his girlfriend to be attached at the hip to her best friend. They always had been before, and six months away from each other was a life time in girl years.   
"Duncan, man," Geoff clasped his own best friends shoulder, tugging him away from the car. Duncan looked paler than usual, the color draining from his face at the thought of Courtney having been in the same room as he had been.   
He didn't know why he felt so sick all of a sudden, like his stomach was trying to force something unwanted out. His chest was rapidly tightening, speeding up his heart, shortening his breath.   
"Breathe?" Duncan managed a dry chuckle at Geoff's unknowing. Not even Duncan himself knew what to do.

 

It took a whole three days before Duncan set foot in the auto shop again. He's laid in bed, his head buried under a mountain of pillows as if that would block out the outside world and silence his thoughts. It didn't work as planned. His mother constantly bugged him, Geoff constantly messaged him. They didn't leave him alone to be sickened by his thoughts in peace  
Duncan could not believe how stupid he felt. This girl had ruined his mind, tainted his thoughts with her impurity. Or more like purity. She was pure, wholesome, not like anyone else he had ever been with. He wondered if that was the reason he couldn't stop thinking about her. She was just different, that was all. Something new and exciting that would soon lose value in Duncan's eyes.   
But, for now, he was hooked.

 

The radio played faintly in the background, some song Duncan could faintly remember, he hummed along as he worked. Mundane tasks did not set his mind at ease, but setting his mind to focus on harder tasks, things he hadn't been able to do before, that was something he could lose himself in.   
Courtney still played on his thoughts, but he felt himself being able to choose to switch her off.   
In the end, he always switched his thoughts back to her.

 

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned out to be not what Duncan needed.   
Bridgette didn't hang around the office like she used to, Geoff was not as happy as he used to be. Duncan was glad Courtney was affecting not just him. Geoff hadn't outright cited her as the cause for not seeing his girlfriend as often, but he was skirting around the topic of girlfriends and partners and one night stands that meant more than what they should have, no doubt in fear Duncan would have a panic attack, or even explode.  
"Mate, stop staring at the engine and do something with it," Geoff shouted from under the car. Duncan took a shaky breath and went back to work, his hand oily and his mind racing.   
He could feel himself losing control again. As time went on, he felt himself remembering more details from that night. The way she snorted when she laughed too hard. The way she stumbled over her words when she got excited. The way the curve of her hips had fit perfectly into the side of his stomach as they had laid there, breathing heavily, staring at the ceiling through closed eyelids.  
It was paining him more and more each day. He didn't want to say it, he didn't wan to admit it, but he knew it was true. It was eating away at his soul. 

 

It was a slow day, and Duncan was left alone with his thoughts for most of it.   
She was there again, inside his head, with her perfect hair and perfect eyes and perfect skin and perfect smile. Staring at him, laughing at his jokes as they sat on the rooftop, following each other into tomorrow. It was the best way to start the new year; not with a stranger, but with someone who felt like you had known forever. With someone you connected with no matter how much you denied it.   
There was something there, sparks between them. If it was some cheesy romance novel, that was how it would be described. Or so he'd heard from his elder sister when she had been mad on love in the day.   
He stayed there, remaining completely still as he leaned against the back wall, eyes closed in contentment. No one would bother him. No one but her.   
Then he heard it. It was realer than he was used to.   
Her voice.   
Just her voice.   
Carrying above the auto shop noises and infiltrating his ears. Duncan could have sworn he was hallucinating. She was surely to steer clear of the auto shop of her own accord: Bridgette would have told her he was there. here'd be no reason for her to want to come face to face with him, no matter how badly he wanted to see her.   
No. He refused to believe it.   
But there it was, her voice. Courtney's voice.   
Before he knew it, Duncan was on his feet, carefully treading his way to the office where he could hear her voice getting clearer.   
"Geoff, really, she's fine, it's just a cold."  
"It's the middle of summer, Courtney!" Duncan could hear Geoff shout out, his voice panicked. "Who gets a cold in the middle of summer?!"  
"Well, Bridgette, obviously," Courtney tried to joke, and Duncan felt a flutter in his chest at her tone. "The great nursing student who can't do anything the way everyone else does. You know she has to be different. Colds in summer, surfing in winter. It's a wonder she's made it so far in life."  
Duncan leaned against the doorway, watching the pain cross his best friends face.   
"Tell her she's crazy!" Geoff demanded, seeing Duncan behind the small girl.   
Courtney quickly turned her head around to see who Geoff was talking to, and for a moment her face was blank. Duncan studied her in that moment, watching her eyes, her lips, her freckles that bridged her nose. She looked the same as she had seven months ago, the same she had three weeks ago when he had caught only a glimpse of her. But up front, here and now, she felt different. He could see it in her eyes that she wasn't the same person she had been when they'd met, when they'd been together for that one night.   
"You're crazy," he whispered, reminiscing.   
_You're crazy _  
He'd laughed at her last time, as she'd been so bold with alcohol in her system. The look in her eyes told him she remembered too.  
"Fuck, I'm going to call her," Geoff announced, oblivious to the staring competition the other two teenagers were engaged in. He quickly pushed his way passed Duncan, not caring for the shoulder shove his best friend gave him unintentionally.   
There was almost complete silence around them, but it was completely silent between them. They stared. They watched. They observed.   
Duncan could not quite place his finger on it, but there was something different about Courtney. She stood taller, looked more comfortable in herself than she had done at the party.   
"Hi," she whispered in return.   
"Hi," he replied, his breath warm. They stared some more. "How was Africa?"  
"Good," she nodded her head as she talked, shaking her hair to drape around her cheeks. "I really had a great time out there."  
"That's good," he told her, fighting back a small smile. She was happy, he could tell. Happier than she had been that night. Courtney had been drunk on the rooftop, her happiness real, but not true. The happiness she had now, all this time later, this was the happiness that coursed through her body. It radiated off her very soul and Duncan couldn't help but start to feel happy himself just from being in her presence.   
"I should go," she said too soon. "I need to go tend to Bridgette."  
Duncan didn't remember if he had said anything to her, or if he had nodded his head in understanding. He didn't know what he had done, but she was gone again and it hurt. That's what he did remember. __

__

__Duncan was singing. He sang along to the radio as he worked, some song he wasn't even confident he knew all the words to, but he couldn't help himself.  
Geoff had sent himself to the office to file paperwork. Duncan knew it was to be closer to the phone in case Bridgette called, needing anything. Her cold was easing up, because all it was was a cold, but Geoff had bee on boyfriend-overdrive at the thought of her lifting a finger.   
Courtney was with her, Duncan knew Geoff trusted Courtney to watch over Bridgette until she was feeling better. Duncan would trust Courtney to look over anyone, she had a good enough heart to do the job properly.   
Courtney.  
She was on his mind again. Duncan couldn't stop thinking of her all over again, but this time around he didn't feel like shit for it. He embraced the fact his chest was dancing and his stomach was hurting. It was because of her, he knew that now, and it wasn't a bad thing. Seeing her had brightened his spirit. Seeing her had reminded him why he had chosen to be with her for that one night back over the holidays.   
He found himself wanting to see her again, and not beating himself up over it. He had fallen asleep, dreaming of her in his arms again. Duncan wanted to hold her close, to feel her skin on his. He wanted to inhale her hair, the smell her again.   
Duncan wanted to wake up next to her and do it right the second time. He wanted a do-over.   
There was a deep nagging deep in the back of mind, reminding him how unlikely that was. He had fucked up once, there were no second chances.  
But he didn't give up. He kept his mind focused on the good. The good was Courtney, the good was hoping she would show up at the auto shop again.   
And she did. Four days later, holding a bag of sandwiches for Geoff, just as Bridgette had every day since her boyfriend had been working there. What surprised him was the second bag, the bag she handed to him.   
"I figured you got hungry as well," Courtney told him with a shrug. Duncan was grateful. She didn't have to do it for him, she had no obligation to do anything other than hate him. Hate everything he had done, hate him for what he had done to her on that morning. Duncan knew he didn't deserve such kindness, but he didn't voice any of his fears out loud in fear of scaring Courtney off. He didn't want Courtney to think as lowly of him as he did, but she had ever right to.  
"Thank you," he smiled, taking the bag from her.   
Courtney gave him a small smile, the kind that entered his memory and he knew would stay there for a long time. There was something about the way she looked at him that made his heart skip a beat and gave him a feeling he had never felt before.   
Taking on new responsibilities had broadened Duncan'd actions. He could feel himself growing up, turning into a man before his very own eyes. It was scary and exciting all at once. _ _

__

__After that it became a regular occurrence. Every day, Courtney would bring lunch for Geoff, and she'd bring an extra bag for Duncan too. Geoff would freak out over Bridgette being left alone for ten minutes, and Duncan and Courtney would exchange a smile before she left.  
It was comfortable for a while. It went on for a week until Courtney cornered him in the office one day. Her eyebrows were furrowed, and she was looking at him with a displeased look.   
"Please tell me if I'm getting the wrong impression, but when are you going to ask me out?"  
"...What?"  
Duncan stared at Courtney, completely dumbfounded by what she had just said. The thought of asking her out hadn't crossed his mind once, he was happy enough just to get to look at her everyday. They exchanged minimal pleasantries, and Duncan was sure she really did hate him because she could barely look him in the eye.   
He felt bad for what he did that morning, the guilt weighed down on him. He'd never stormed out on anyone, aside form his dad, the way he had with Courtney. Duncan always stayed around until he was the one kicked out, never the other way around. She hadn't been facing him, but he could imagine the distraught look on her face.   
"I assumed, didn't I?" Courtney covered her face with her hands for a brief moment, recomposing herself. "Just-Just forget I said anything, I'm being stupid." Courtney shook her head, making for the exit as fast as she could, but Duncan stepped in her way. Courtney turned her dark eyes up at him, her expression begging for him to let her go.   
"Hang on, I didn't even say anything," Duncan smirked.   
"I can read it on your face."  
"Then my face gives the wrong impression."  
Courtney squinted her eyes, not blinking as she stared him down. He realized he hadn't out right said it, so she was bound to be some sort of confused. For all he knew, she thought that he hated her after that morning. He had left so abruptly, and he hadn't made any effort on his part.   
Courtney was the one who had showed up in his work place, and brought him food as an act of good will. He'd accepted it, but not made any move to do something nice in return for her.   
"Courtney," Duncan held his hands on her upper arms, holding her in place so she couldn't escape. "Will you go on a date with me?"_ _


	6. Welcomed Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duncan takes Courtney on their first date.

_How do you restart something that had never been turned off? - Veronica Rossi, Under the Never Sky_

Courtney was not a nervous person. The only other time in her life she had been nervous was when she was about the get on an airplane for the first time seven months ago.   
But now her stomach was aching and she thought about calling him and asking for a rain check because there was obviously something very wrong with her.   
Bridgette laughed. Courtney turned to her best friend, glaring. They had been hauled up in Courtney's bedroom for the last two hours trying to figure out what she should wear on her date. Courtney had never been on a date before, she didn't have the slightest clue what she was doing. The only knowledge she had was from living vigorously through Bridgette, and that Duncan told her he'd see her at eight.   
It was nearing the end of summer now, the first of August was in a matter of days. The air outside was warm, but not hot. After six months in one of the hottest continents, Courtney could easily say she felt the cold now more than ever.   
Bridgette was there for moral support, giving Courtney what she assumed would be useful tips.   
There was no need to fuss, Courtney guessed. She'd already had sex with the guy, how much worse could the rest of it be? They had jumped the gun, slipping into bed together before anything else. After that night, Courtney didn't think they would even see each other again. Courtney didn't like being wrong, but in this one instance, she was glad she was.   
"I like the black one," Bridgette noted, nodding her head towards the dress Courtney had just taken off. Courtney was staring at her reflection in the mirror. The green dress that hugged her body was a definite no, and she shrugged it off before she grew attached. Duncan liked green, as was obvious by his hair, but green was not Courtney's best color.   
"Do I want to wear a dress?" The brunette questioned, "It looks cold outside."  
"It's summer," Bridgette stated, gesturing to her own denim shorts. "And plus, if you get cold, it's the perfect time for him to give you his jacket."  
Courtney rolled her eyes, but her brain was playing the scene out in front of her.   
"It's chilly out here," she exaggerated, slightly shivering.   
Duncan turned to her, look of horror on his face at letting his beloved date go cold. He slipped off his jacket, draping it around her shoulders, and pulling her in for a quick hug for added warmth.   
"Stop smiling like an idiot and put the black dress back on!" Bridgette tried to sound stern, but was giggling. Courtney knew her best friend was putting on a brave face. Bridgette couldn't stand Duncan, especially after what had happened on New Years morning, but she was playing nice for Courtney's sake. Courtney appreciated it more than Bridgette knew.   
First dates were like fairy tales for Courtney; something that only happened to girls that weren't her. Through High school, she had heard the rumors and whispers, stories of tragedy and romance that were spread between the other girls in her class. Courtney had been too focused on student council elections at the time. Dating and boys had never appealed to her, she always put her career first, following in her parents' footsteps. They hadn't met until later in life, when they were both settled into the same law firm. Courtney always assumed the same thing would happen to her, but in her last year of High school, she was starting to figure things out for herself and not go along with the path her parents had created. By that point, however, the dating market had left Courtney behind and no boys were interested in her.   
Now here she was, about to venture out in the unknown once again, and it excited her. Ever since had had asked her out on Thursday, exactly two days ago, she figured the fear would set in, but it never did. The butterflies in her stomach carried away the scariness, allowing her to feel the joy in what was to come. 

 

Duncan arrived dead on eight o'clock, ringing the doorbell just as Courtney reached the front door. He jumped slightly as she pulled the door open, hoping she didn't look too eager.   
"You look great," he complimented. There was a smirk on his face as Courtney could feel her cheeks blush.  
"Thanks," Courtney replied, mentally slapping herself for sounding so stupid. "You don't look too bad yourself."  
It was uncomfortable.   
Duncan stuck his arm out, allowing Courtney to loop hers through. He led her over to his car and pulled open the door, much to her surprise.   
Bridgette was watching from the doorway, waving them off. She shouted something at Duncan, to which he subtly stuck up his middle finger towards her. Courtney pretended not to see.   
The nerves were eating at Courtney. She still wasn't scared, but there was something about the unknown that worried her.   
"Where are we going?"   
"You'll see."

 

They drove for a while, music playing quietly in the background. They exchanged a few pleasantries but not a lot was said overall.   
Courtney watched out the window for a while, noticing the route out of town too well. She drove it with Bridgette, she drove it by herself. It was on the opposite side of the city to the lakes, and was absolutely breath taking for scenery.   
The trees stood tall, changing colors of leaves even though it was no where near fall yet. It went on for miles, just nature in it's rare beauty that could only been found outside of Muskoka city.   
Duncan was still not giving up any clues of where they were heading, and Courtney' anxieties were playing up. She trusted Duncan, there was no self-doubt about that, but the unknown was something Courtney wasn't good with. Since she was back from Africa, she was falling back into her old ways of planning. Planning her life, planning her future. Courtney was trying to stop herself from doing it, but it was an old habit.   
They continued to drive, further and further down the old dirt track roads, away from the town and through the trees.   
And then the car slowed down and Duncan pulled up on the side of one of the road, in the middle of no where, and Courtney panicked that this resembled one too many horror stories.   
She started to fiddle with the edge of her t-shirt, having finally decided on a pair of skinny jeans with an accented scarf. Duncan got out without a word, running round to her side and opening the door. He could obviously see her hesitation, and gave Courtney a reassuring smile.   
It wasn't a grand gesture, but Courtney feel her stomach settle down. Duncan was not an ax-murderer. She may not know a lot about him, but she knew that much. Of course, it didn't help when he silently unlocked the trunk of his car and started rummaging around, but when he pulled out a picnic basket, Courtney couldn't help with laugh.   
A picnic. It was everything Courtney could have asked for in a first date. 

 

They were spread out on an old blanket that Duncan had slung over his shoulder for the walk through the woods. They'd held hands as they walked, smiling more now as the air was clearing between them.   
Courtney was glad she hadn't eaten before coming out (not that her nerves would have let her), as Duncan had truly packed a feast. They indulged between them, eating as much as they could both handle in one sitting.   
As the sun started to sit, Courtney found herself lying on her back, Duncan feeding her strawberries in an over-cliched moment. He dripped chocolate across her nose, making her laugh. And made her gasp when he licked it off.   
"I wanted to bring you here," Duncan explained as he laid down beside her. "Because I really enjoyed watching the sunset with you at New Years, and I wanted to do it again, and I hope that's okay with you."  
They hadn't brought up New Years yet. They were saving that conversation for another time. But Courtney watched his face as he carefully mentioned it, and she could see the pain and wonder that his eyes gave away, wondering if hers mirrored them.   
Watching the sunset with Duncan, the first time, they had been drunk. Courtney had babbled on and on about herself, not learning all that much about him, but this time around Courtney was prepared to listen the whole time if it meant Duncan would talk more.   
And he did. He told her all about himself, his childhood, his home life, working at Uncle Rick's auto shop. Courtney didn't take her eyes off him once, just smiled and laughed at his corny jokes, encouraging him to keep going until he ran out of things to say.   
Duncan just kept staring at her, a look of admiration in his eyes. Courtney stared right back, and before she could stop herself, she leaned in. She didn't know if it was appropriate for a first date, but Courtney guessed they had passed that mark with the chocolate. Duncan didn't pull back or hesitate to kiss her right back.   
Their first kiss had been sloppy, beer tainted. This kiss was something more, something different. It was tentative, careful, not wanting to make any mistakes the second time around. Her fingers played with his hair, his hands brushed her sides.   
How long they had both been secretly wanting this, the other did not know, but they fell back together in a way they both thought was not possible. There drunken one nighter had left doubts in their minds, but doing it soberly was another thing entirely.   
Neither had felt this way before, it was a new experience, and they embraced it wholeheartedly. 

 

The sunset was beautiful, when they had finally managed to pull themselves apart. Courtney had stayed with her head on Duncan's chest as they watched the sky change color through the trees. It was even more breathtaking now than it had ever been before, at least to Courtney.   
She liked how sunsets were becoming their thing. 

 

When the sky had finally calmed down, Duncan pulled a flashlight from the bottom of the basket and they packed up together.   
They walked back to car, hand-in-hand, enjoying the moonlight stroll.   
The silence in the car was non existent as they drove home, laughing and talking, wanting nothing more than each others company. Courtney could feel the giddiness in her head and her stomach and her heart, it took over her body and she didn't reject it. She welcomed it. Courtney wasn't feeling so nervous anymore, she was comfortable around Duncan in a way she never thought possible. The way he looked at her, his eyes wide with amazement, it made the smile on her face a little brighter each time.   
Duncan pulled up in front of her house too soon. Courtney wasn't ready to say goodbye to him quite yet, and insisted he come inside. Duncan was hesitant in his answer, which caused Courtney to start thinking the worst.   
_She'd done that assuming thing again, hadn't she?_  
"No one's home," Courtney told him.   
A smirk broke out on his face. "Well, in that case, might as well see how the other half live."  
They walked towards the house together, Duncan closely behind Courtney. The front door wasn't locked, much to her surprise. She started to doubt herself, wondering if one of her parents had come home early. It was barely ten-thirty on a Saturday night. They should both be at the office as they always were.   
Courtney led him into the parlor, just to the right of the foyer. A smile broke out on Courtney's face at the blonde girl snoring away on the couch.   
Bridgette had told Courtney she was going to stick around for the end of the date, to check in with her best friend on how it went. She'd kept her word, but fallen asleep on it. The brunette pulled a spare blanket from the hall closet, draping it over Bridgette's curled up form.   
Duncan watched from the archway that divided the parlor and the foyer, fighting back a smile.   
"We should leave her sleep," Courtney whispered, taking his hand in hers once again. She pulled him towards the sweeping staircase, both taking two steps at a time. She was giggling by the time they got to the top, and Duncan came right behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.   
Courtney led them down the right side of the hallway, stopping halfway down to open one of the identical doors. She pushed it open without much force and they fell inside.  
Duncan was trailing kisses across her neck, and her hands were back tugging on his Mohawk. They collapsed on the bed, their lips fighting to touch more skin than the others. Their lips fell together, and Courtney let go of everything that she felt was holding her back.   
The intention of sex was not on her mind, she didn't want to rush anything. She wanted to talk some more, cuddle back up in his arms until morning. Duncan was happy to oblige once they had both calmed down.   
"I don't want to talk about it now," Courtney explained to him. "But we need to talk about New Years at some point."  
Duncan pressed a kiss to her forehead, letting her knew he was there for her. "We can talk about it tomorrow."  
The promise of a tomorrow hung in the air, and Courtney fell asleep thinking about all the tomorrow's she wanted to have with him. These last few weeks had been a nightmare, falling asleep with an aching chest and clenching stomach. For the first time all year, Courtney fell asleep with ease, the memories of her first ever date dancing in her mind.


	7. A Little Rain Never Hurt Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Courtney and Duncan deal with the reality of their situation.

_How do you restart something that had never been turned off? - Veronica Rossi, Under the Never Sky_

Duncan woke up when he heard Courtney snort. For a moment he thought it was his mind playing tricks on him, but then he saw her, still wearing the clothes she'd worn on their date.   
"We need to talk about the boy in your bed," Courtney announced, in a high-pitched, mimicking voice, snorting again. "Just fucking tell me when," she mumbled, turning to lie down on her back. Once she was comfortable enough, she turned to see Duncan watching her. He gave a small smile and she returned it.   
The second time they were waking up next to each other, but this time around was much better than the first. He wasn't going to make a move on her, and she wasn't going to rebuff him again. This was it for them, lying comfortably, staring at each in a silence. It wasn't awkward, but it wasn't everything.   
"Breakfast?" Courtney asked hoarsely, and Duncan nodded in answer. 

 

The kitchen was already alight with smell, and for a moment Duncan forgot that Bridgette was present in the house as well.   
He could see Courtney smiling as she hugged her best friend.   
"Don't thank me," Bridgette argued, brushing Courtney away. "I want the dirty details later." The blonde gave an exaggerated wink in Duncan's direction. Courtney shook her head at her best friend as Bridgette left the two alone in the kitchen.   
They both took a seat on opposite sides of the table, munching down on the feast of toast that Bridgette had managed to save from going cold. Duncan could see why Courtney kept her around; she made cooked bread at a high standard.   
"Do you want to talk now?" Courtney asked when it looked it she was done. Duncan's eyes hadn't left her since they started the meal, and he could see something was bothering her. Before they'd fallen asleep last night, she'd told him they needed to talk about it, and they did. Duncan knew he was holding back, and he wanted to put an end to it.  
"I'm sorry," and he meant it. "I should never have walked out on you like I did. I-"  
"I'm sorry too," Courtney quickly interjected. "I'm not saying it was entirely my fault, but I made a big deal of nothing. I have a habit of assuming things, I don't know if you noticed..." Duncan smirked. He noticed. "I wasn't ready back in January for...for well anything, and I'm not sure if I'm ready now, but I'm more willing to try, to see where this leads us."  
"Me too," Duncan replied. "I like you, Court, a lot. You're a pain in the ass, but I want you in my life."  
They were both giving shy smiles across the table. Duncan felt better, like a small weight had been lifted, but there was still a lot pushing him down. Now wasn't the time for sober secret spilling, it would all come in time. They had a long time ahead of them.  
Or so Duncan thought.   
"I'm leaving for England in September. I'm going to be living out there for at least three years, Duncan."  
He knew that. He had told her that before. It had never really registered in Duncan's head that Courtney would be gone again, this time for a much longer period. There would be holidays. Christmas, summer break.   
_Did England have spring break?_  
They were silent as Duncan thought it over in his head. He didn't know what Courtney was asking for him. Her eyes weren't giving much away as she continued to stare, biting down on her lip. Fuck, he wanted to kiss her so badly right now. He wanted to be holding her again, flashback to half hour ago when they were lying together in her bed.   
It wasn't his intention to stay the night, obviously whoever had sent her that message she was reading this morning hadn't been too happy about his presence. But it sort of happened. They were wrapped up together, whispering about nothing at all, and they just fell. 

 

"You're distracted," came a sing-song voice that Duncan did not want to hear. He turned his head to see Bridgette leaning against the hood on the car he was working on. Since her miraculous recovery, she'd been straight back to hanging around the auto shop, bitching about the wait for her exam results. Duncan hadn't missed her one bit.   
"I don't get distracted," he replied, pulling the spare wheel from the trunk.   
"Are you thinking about Courtney?" He didn't reply to her. "Of course you are. You're punching well above your weight with her and I hope you know that." He didn't reply still. "You know that. You're not good enough for her, but you know that as well. And I hope you do know that if you break her heart, I have ways of breaking your legs."  
Bridgette was not intimidating. She was barely five foot off the ground, with flowing blonde hair and the stature of a woodland creature. But she could be mean when she wanted. She had a certainty in her voice that told Duncan that she was serious about everything when it came to her best friend.   
Duncan nodded in her direction, but still didn't respond. He was watching her continue to glare at him through the side-mirror's reflection. It took a moment, but she softened her features, looking at him with pity.   
"She told me that you know about England," Bridgette almost whispered, her voice silky, sending shivers through Duncan's body. "She's wanted to go to Oxford for the last two years, and she is going to go, and as much as I don't want you to hurt Courtney, I also don't want her hurt you." Duncan stepped out from behind the car, turning to face Bridgette in the flesh. He was confused. "I don't like you, Duncan, and you don't like me, and I'm fine with that. But I love Geoff, and I love Courtney, and you're very important to both of them, so I don't want to see you get hurt either. Just...Just keep in mind that she can't live up to everything you may be expecting, because she'd not going to be here to fulfill it."

 

They were lying tangled on another blanket, this time in Courtney's backyard. She was home alone again, and Duncan was starting to wonder how much of a regular thing this was. He was never home alone in his house. His parents may work normal nine to five hours, but his siblings would pester him and anyone he brought home to no end.   
It was too hot to be inside, and Duncan had resorted to not wearing a shirt. Courtney was in a pair on tiny shorts, and Duncan was doing everything to keep his hands in the appropriate places. Courtney didn't seem to mind too much when they started to wander elsewhere.   
The sound of someone clearing their through distracted them. Duncan was lying on his stomach, arms folded beneath his hand. Courtney was lying horizontally across the blanket, her legs covering his back, sunglasses covering her face.   
"Mom?" She questioned, sitting up some. Duncan leaned up on his elbow, shielding the sun from his face. He could see the outline of a woman, who he thought looked scarily like Courtney. "What are you doing home?"  
"I came back on my lunch break to make sure you were staying hydrated in the heat." The older woman's voice was clipped, almost as if speaking in a sentence of more than three words strained her. "A word, Courtney?"  
Duncan watched as Courtney reluctantly followed her mother in through the sliding glass doors, neither bothering to close it behind them. He could just about make out bits of the conversation.   
If there was one thing Duncan was sure of, it was that parents did not like him. His own parents didn't like him at the best of times, and the only parent that he had found to like him was Geoff's mom. And even she only tolerated him so much.   
It was evident that he and Courtney came from two different sides of town. He was slumming it in a tiny house while she had all of this spare space. Her parents were lawyers, but that was common knowledge. She had never really talked about her parents to him, though he hadn't gone into too much detail about his own family with her either. They still had a lot to learn about each other.   
Bridgette's words rang in his head: _She can't live up to everything you may be expecting._  
"She's such a fucking bitch," Courtney grumbled, slamming the heavy door behind her. Duncan jumped at the bang.   
"Everything alright?"  
"What?!" She demanded before realizing it was only Duncan. "Oh yeah, I-I'm fine." Courtney held her hand to her forehead, settling back down on the blanket. Duncan didn't stop staring at her, knowing she was completely bullshitting him.   
She didn't offer anything up freely at first, and he ran a hand through the ends of her hair. Courtney sighed, visibly slumping back against his chest. Duncan caught her easily, letting her know she was there for him.   
"I haven't told my parents about us yet," Courtney told him, her sunglasses falling from the end of her nose. She made no attempt to pick them up.   
"Us?"  
"Yes, Duncan, us. Me and you? I haven't told her we're...seeing each other." They hadn't given each other official titles yet. It had only been four dates. And a half if they counted this sunbathing session. "You're not..."  
"I'm not the ideal boyfriend that mommy and daddy would pick for you?" Duncan snorted. Of course he wasn't. Just like all other parents, Courtney's parents hated him before they even met him. The piercings and green Mohawk usually put people off. "Is there still an...us?"  
Courtney leaned her head back against his shoulder, brushing her nose against his neck. Duncan wasn't confident in her lack of response.

 

The squealing started long before Duncan had even pulled up to work, but as soon as he heard it he felt like driving off and pulling a sick day.   
Unfortunately for him, uncle Rick gave a wave from behind the car he was working on, letting Duncan know he saw him. The older man had a set of ear buds in, which Duncan wished he had had the foresight to bring with him.   
Instead, he dragged himself into the office, covering his ears. Courtney was sitting on the desk, grinning from ear to ear. Geoff was laughing, sitting in the main chair. They were both watching Bridgette who was bouncing on the spot, clutching a letter in her hand. The scene was familiar to Duncan.  
"Should I ask?" Duncan chuckled, grabbing his overalls from the corner behind the excited teenage girl. Bridgette quickly turned and hugged him, much to his surprise.   
"I PASSED! I PASSED! I PASSED!" She chanted in his ear, forgetting to turn off the squealing as she did. Duncan pulled away, laughing lightly in time with Geoff. 

 

Courtney: How are you holding up?  
Duncan: I'm not.   
Duncan: I'm dying.  
Duncan: Send help.   
Courtney Lol. Don't over react.  
Duncan: You have never taken part in a 'family bonding evening'.   
Duncan: You don't know the pain I'm going through.   
Courtney: It can't be that bad.  
Duncan: One of my brothers cheated and I got framed for it.   
Duncan: I am a million dollars in debt.  
Duncan: My little sister is flashing her cash and it hurts.  
Courtney: Whose idea was it to play Monopoly again?  
Duncan: Not mine, that's for sure.  
Courtney: Liar.   
Courtney: You must be having some fun. Isn't it nice to see all your older siblings again?  
Courtney: Duncan?  
Duncan: My old man is glaring at me.  
Duncan: I think he knows I'm using my phone under the table.  
Duncan: Better go settle my debts before he kicks my ass.  
Duncan has logged off.  
Courtney: Bye :/

 

"I envy you," Duncan scowled. "I want to be an only child."  
Courtney giggled. "What happened now?"  
"Daisy threw up on me," he explained. "She has never been car sick in her life and she chooses the day she's in my car to throw up. On me!" Duncan held the phone closer to his ear. "When will this torture end?"  
"I'm envious of you," Courtney admitted. "I always wanted siblings growing up, and you got six of them."  
"Do you want some? I have an adorable little sister you can have."  
"The one who just threw up?"  
"Details," Duncan joked. 

 

"Why haven't you introduced me to your family?" Courtney asked. The mid-August heat had her back in those tiny shorts that Duncan couldn't stand. He tore his eyes away from her body, looking up to her face. She was scowling, but her eyes were more sad. "Are you embarrassed by me?"  
"What?" Duncan was confused. "Embarrassed by you? Court, I'm embarrassed by them! You've heard the stories, they're a mess."  
"They're your family."  
"I haven't met your family, are you embarrassed by me?"  
"No!" Courtney protested, sitting up from her spot. "Don't ever think that, okay? You're...well, you're not perfect, but I don't care that you're not and that's the point. My parents want me to date some prissy, high-strung guy with a pole up his ass-"  
"Like you?"  
"I do not have a pole up my ass!" Courtney shoved his shoulder and Duncan smirked. "But I'm not embarrassed by you. You saw the way my mom was the other day, she's a bitch at the best of time, I don't want you to be subject to that any more than you have to be."  
"Same with my family. Only instead of being bitches, they're shit heads and that makes them way worse."


	8. A Little Rain Never Hurt Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Courtney meets the family, and then it's time to leave.

_How do you restart something that had never been turned off? - Veronica Rossi, Under the Never Sky_

Duncan took a shaky breath. He couldn't believe he'd let Courtney talk him into inviting her round for a family dinner. They didn't have enough room at the table for a family dinner! Duncan was panicking. All he wanted to do was impress Courtney, but he feared his family was going to scare her off.   
"Aren't I supposed to be the nervous one?" Courtney tried to joke, but Duncan wasn't in the laughing mood. He had three younger siblings, all who lived at home. He had three older siblings, one which had moved into his own place, and two that were away at college. Being the middle of summer, they were home.   
Duncan took a shaky breath, bracing himself for what was about to unfold. He held tightly onto Courtney's hand as he led her into the house. It was chaotic, to say the least. Duncan was used to the craziness, but the sudden look of horror that crossed Courtney's face told her that this was not what she was used to.   
"Not too late to leave."  
"DUNCAN!"  
"I stand corrected." Duncan put on a brave face, turning to see the little girl coming running in his direction. He easily hoisted her into his arms. Daisy was one of the youngest of the family, the other being her twin brother Duke. They were eight, a 'surprise present' on Duncan's eleventh birthday.   
After the twins came Dominic, at fifteen years old. Duncan found him to be a teenage nightmare, believing he was no where near as big of a jerk when he was that age. Duncan was the middle child, two years younger than his first older brother, Driver. Of course, his real name wasn't Driver, it was Dylan, but the nickname has stuck after the first time he'd hot wired their fathers car at the age of twelve and his siblings had been calling him 'The Reckless Driver' ever since.   
After Driver came Danica, the eldest girl. She was in her last year of college, and had been a pain in Duncan's ass for as long as he remembered. She had a habit, when they were little, to play dress-up with her younger brothers as she didn't have any sisters to play with back then. But the one that really bugged Duncan the most, was Drake, the oldest of the Evans clan. For as long as Duncan could remember, his brother had been his biggest tormentor. He was perfect. Everything his parents had ever wanted in a child, much to the chagrin of all of his younger siblings. But Duncan had it the worst. Duncan was the 'rebellious' child, as his mother had put it gently. That just meant being constantly reminded how well Drake was doing in life. How he was an Honor student. How he had a full scholarship to any college of his choosing. How he was now getting married, living with his future wife in a house he had successfully paid off without any help. It burned Duncan to the core, knowing his older brother was so perfect while he was such a screw up.   
"Is this your girlfriend?" Daisy asked innocently, though Duncan glared at her. Courtney could see the gleam of terrorizing pleasure in the little girls eyes, obviously knowing what she was doing with her older brother. A smile broke out on Courtney's face.   
"Daisy, this is Courtney. Courtney, Daisy." He gestured between the two with one hand as he held onto his younger sister with the other, balancing her on his lower torso.  
"Nice to meet you," Courtney tried to be polite, but she could see the smirk building across Daisy's face. It scared her how much the little girl looked like Duncan when she did that.

 

Dinner went as well as could be expected with the Evans family. No one ended up eating at the actual table, instead they all crammed into almost just-as-small living room, squeezing onto the sofa as best they could.   
Duncan and Courtney, however, found themselves on the floor, leaning against the wall space beside the fireplace. Duncan was used to this, but Courtney had no idea the kind of life he lived. One look at her face told him she was thoroughly enjoying the experience.   
Chatter went around, asking Courtney about herself, spreading rumors about Duncan so they would reach her ears. Family stories were shared, and Courtney laughed the loudest about the time they went to the zoo and Duncan cried because he dropped his ice cream.   
"I mean, sure, if he was five it would have been fine," joked Driver, the family clown. "But this was only last week!"  
Duncan threw a well-aimed plastic cup at his brothers head. 

 

Duke was clinging to Courtney's hand by the end of it, asking all sorts of questions about when she was going to visit again. She promised it would be soon.   
Duncan walked Courtney out to his car, holding her hand too tight. She turned to face him, her free hand pressing against his chest. A look of concern peered up at his and Duncan sighed. Courtney could sense there was something wrong.   
"Do you want to talk about it?" Courtney asked, but didn't push.   
"It's nothing, really," Duncan tried to smile. "It went better than expected, really. I'm just glad Drake couldn't make it, that would have been a bigger nightmare." Courtney raised an eyebrow. "I'm worried that you're going to run away from me now that you've met them. And if not now, then when you do get a chance to meet Drake, you'll definitely be out of here by then."  
Courtney smiled, surprising him. She moved her hand up from his chest, cupping his cheek and jaw in her right palm, squeezing gently on her left hand that was still encased in his.   
"I'm not going anywhere...except maybe back to my house so I can kiss you in private." Duncan looked over his shoulder and found the five siblings that had been present staring back through the kitchen window.   
"I don't care," he mumbled, turning back to Courtney. The smile on her face quickly got replaced by his lips. 

 

It was a regular occurrence for Courtney to visit Duncan's house after that. His parents were very welcoming of her, noting how much of a positive influence she was in his life. Courtney had big life goals, and she willingly told his parents all about them.   
His siblings fell in love with her, the way Duncan slowly was too. Duke and Daisy would climb all over Courtney, begging her to spend time with them, playing with dolls and trucks and age-appropriate video games.   
Driver liked to tease her, as much as he liked to tease his own brothers and sisters. Dominic had no real care for having Courtney around, spending much of his time holed up in his bedroom. And so far, Duncan had done a good job of scheduling Courtney to come around when Drake was definitely not going to be around to harass them.  
It wasn't until Danica had taken Duncan aside did he started to worry about anything.   
"You know she's leaving in two weeks, right?" Duncan nodded. He knew. He definitely knew. It was now the beginning of September and Courtney only had until the fifteenth before she had to head out to England.   
Courtney had already started packing.   
They hadn't sat down and had a conversation about it yet, but she had obviously confided in Danica about it. Duncan had noticed the two girls getting along a little too well. Danica was just glad to have another grown-up female around the house.   
"She's scared too, Duncan," Danica continued. "You need to sort your shit out and talk to her. You're in for a hell of a wake up someday soon, little bro."

 

 _You're in for a hell of a wake up someday soon_  
It was killing him.  
It had been three days since Danica had told Duncan to grow a pair and talk to Courtney, and he still hadn't. He hated to admit it, but he was scared. Talking about it made it real. Talking about it meant Courtney was leaving in less than two weeks time.   
They were at Courtney's house for a change, a welcomed quiet from the chaos of the Evans household. Courtney had grown fond of the whole family, Duncan could tell, but Duncan was more grateful for the peaceful moments where he could get Courtney all to himself.   
The weather was starting to crisp already, but the couple were making the most of the final rays of sunshine. They were back lying on their favorite blanket, just outside of the sliding glass door.   
"Hey, Court," Duncan started, not knowing where the hell he was going with the conversation. She hummed in response. "You're my girlfriend, right?"  
"Well, I don't know, idiot, you've never asked me to be," she replied, but not harshly, more curious. Amused. Her voice teasing Duncan's ears.   
"I kinda figured our mass amount of dates meant you were."  
Courtney giggled as she said, "I think my assuming habit has rubbed off on you." Duncan smirked, turning his head to face her. She was already looking at him, her sunglasses long forgotten. He watched her face, waiting for some sort of sign, but got too distracted by her eyes.   
"Courtney Taylor, will you be my girlfriend?" Duncan whispered, and a mad grin broke out on Courtney's face. She quickly jumped him, swinging her left leg across his stomach, her lips pressing to his before he'd even finished the question. He figured this was a 'yes', but didn't want to assume anymore.   
"Of course I will!" The young girl squealed in delight.   
Duncan had never had a girlfriend before, and now he was worrying he wouldn't know what to do with one. Courtney laughed at him when he tried his best to express this. She told him he was doing fine so far.   
But what worried him more, was the impending conversation.   
"Are you still going to want to be my girlfriend when you're in England, surrounding by snobby Oxford boys?" Courtney cocked her head, her eyes drifting away as if she was thinking about the thought. Her nose scrunched up, and Duncan laughed as he kissed her freckles.   
"Is that what this is about?" Courtney sat up properly, taking Duncan with her so she could talk at eye-level. "Duncan, I don't want anyone else. Yes, it's going to be hard, we'll be separated by thousands of miles of ocean. But does that mean I won't want you anyone? Of course it doesn't. You're mine, Duncan. My only one. No stuck-up, snobby, pole-up-his-ass, English boy is going to change that, not ever.  
"It won't be easy. I'm not going to pretend it will be. But we will talk every single day. We will Skype, we will call, we will text, we will IM, we will write. I am not going to forget about you as soon as I set foot in another country. I didn't last time, and I won't this time."  
Duncan leaned forward, resting his head against Courtney's. "You're it for me, Courtney. Don't ever think otherwise."  
It killed him still, but it also made him determined to fight for it. 

 

This was it. This was their last day together, and the morning of it was unexpectedly spent at Duncan's house. The little ones were rushing around, getting ready for their school day, while Danica was upstairs, finishing packing her own bags as she was heading back out to her own on-campus dorm room in the morning for her classes to start on Tuesday.   
Duncan would never not be used to chaos, while Courtney was still grasping the concept that a family could be so unorganized. She had expressed such feelings to Duncan.   
The big surprise came when the one person Duncan wanted to avoid showed up.  
Drake.   
Out of no where, Drake seemed to have wanted to stop-by and let his parents know how well he was doing in life. Duncan gagged at his constant bragging.  
"You must be Courtney." Drake slid closer to the young girl, a sly grin creeping across his face. Duncan's throat closed up, and he had to fight back every urge he had to punch his brother for being so close to his girlfriend. "I was starting to think everyone was making you up."  
"I'm very much real," she replied, not at all taken aback by his presence.   
"Yes you are," he mumbled, almost as if he didn't want anyone to hear him. Duncan heard him. He hated the way Drake was looking Courtney up and down, wetting his lips as if she was a his prey.   
Duncan held tightly onto Courtney's hand, trying to think of the perfect excuse to steal her away from his eldest brothers leering eyes. 

 

"It wasn't that bad," Courtney tried to assure her boyfriend. Duncan hit his head back against the headrest of the drivers seat as they came to a red light.  
As expected, Drake had been nothing but a pain in the ass. He had teased Duncan, embarrassed him in front of his girlfriend. It wasn't playful, like it always was with the rest of their siblings, Drake was competitive, and Duncan had his mind set on thinking up the worst possible stories to tell to his brothers fiancee when he saw her.   
"Really, Duncan, I'm fine." Duncan turned his head to look at Courtney. She didn't look shaken up by the ordeal of her brother-in-law attempting to, several times, look down her top. Drake was a creep at the best of times.  
"He's such an asshole," the young boy breathed, running a shaky hand through his Mohawk. Drake was the bane of his existence. 

 

The two quietly pulled up in front of Courtney's house, and Courtney made a move to get out, but stopped when she noticed Duncan wasn't doing the same. She turned, her eyes brows knitted together, looking at him quizzically.   
"Are you not coming?"  
"I figured you wouldn't want me to come in. Probably never want to see me or my fucked up family again." There was nothing but bitterness radiating from Duncan. He hadn't lied when he had told Courtney how ashamed of his family he was. Courtney lived such a different life to him, there was no way he could ever ask him to make the switch from her peaceful, perfect one to his chaotic, messy one.   
"Duncan, I told you before: I'm not going anywhere." Courtney reached her hand out, covering his as he gripped the steering wheel. "Now stop being such an ass yourself and come inside." Courtney's voice was final, and Duncan didn't hesitate anymore to turn off the engine and lock up his car.   
He slowly trailed behind Courtney, waiting for her to turn around and tell him that she had changed her mind. Duncan took one look at his girlfriend and knew she was thinking the opposite.   
As soon as the door was shut, Courtney attacked. Her lips were everywhere. His lips, his cheeks, his nose, his neck. Duncan barely had time to catch his breath as Courtney pinned him against the front door to her house.   
"Courtney," he moaned, his hands wanting to touch her, but she had them pinned above his head. Duncan tried to kiss her back, but Courtney was taking control. "W-What are you doing?" He questioned, swallowing thickly as her hands slid down his rib cage, fingers dancing against his t-shirt before they reached his belt.   
Courtney stopped briefly, a wicked grin on her face as she rubbed her nose against his. Panting heavily, she said, "I'm going to show you how much I want you."  
She said nothing else, slowly, painfully unbuckled his belt. Duncan thursted his hips forward, pushing himself into her hands, only to have her give him a throaty chuckle. Courtney continued to kiss his neck, and his hands finally found their way to her ass. As she slowly sank her body down onto her knees, Duncan's hands fell into her hair.   
Duncan was shaking, his breath uneven. They hadn't done anything remotely sexual since New Years Ever, and, as amazing as that had been, had ended badly the next morning. They were both afraid of disappointing the other while they were sober, and neither were excessive drinkers to do it again drunk.   
This time around, they had kept a slow pace of make out sessions and dry humping on Courtney's bed. Duncan's hand would rest on her ass, and she would thrust her hips against his. Neither had tried to push the other into anything else. This was new territory for them both.   
Duncan didn't look down, but he could definitely feel Courtney's hands stroking him. He moaned her name, his fingers tangling knots in her brunette locks. He could feel her nerves, but encouraged her to continue. Duncan was well aware that Courtney had zero sexual experience outside of him, but her hands were skilled enough that he never would have known.   
It wasn't until she took him in her mouth did Duncan become speechless. His moaning ceased, his own mouth lay gasping, open, unable to form a single thought. He slowly pushed her head forward, telling her it was okay.  
Duncan's eyes rolled back into his head. Pure bliss. He'd had blow-jobs from others girls before, but they were sloppy, not caring for his needs and focusing more on getting him to unwillingly return the favor.   
"C-Court, I'm..." And Courtney knew to quickly remove herself as Duncan came over the foyer floor.   
Duncan was more than willing to return the favor for Courtney, as soon as he had regained himself.   
She stood up from the floor, leaning in for another kiss on his neck. His hands were instantly rubbing at her exposed thighs, as his mouth trailed kisses against his girlfriend tanned skin.   
Courtney giggled again. "Don't worry," she whispered above his ear. "We have all night for this."

 

September fifteenth was a hard day for everyone.   
Bridgette took the day off from nursing school, and Duncan had requested the day off from work. They both showed up at the airport for support, each carrying one of Courtney's four bags. There was going to be a lot more to take, but in the end Courtney had decided on buying new stuff out there. She was only taking what was important, things she figured they may not have in England. Such as thirty bottles of hand-sanitizer, 'just incase'.  
Courtney and Bridgette were in instant tears, and Duncan held back from the two, letting them have their moment first. There were a lot of promises tossed back and fore, about phone calls and letters, and Duncan felt sad watching the two best friends separating. Duncan didn't know what he'd do if Geoff up and left the country for three years.   
Duncan waited his turn, but when Courtney looked up at him, tears running down his face, he couldn't bear it. He pulled her against his chest, not able to look at her. He held her tightly, urging himself not to cry. He would see her again. She was coming home for Christmas in three months time. Three months was nothing, he assured himself. They'd stayed apart for six months when she'd gone to Africa, and he fought back the voice in his head that told him this was different.   
"I'll call you as soon as I land, I promise," Courtney told him, but most of her words were swallowed by the tears. "I love you so much, Duncan."  
She parted on that note, picking up her bags and leaving and heading towards her gate without looking back. Duncan felt his feet collapse beneath him.


	9. Morning Dew

_Rather than turning the page, it's much easier to just throw the book away - Anthony Liccione_

The chaos of the Evans house was nothing in comparison to on campus dorm rooms during the first week. Courtney had been shoved into three walls by three different people just on her way to the bathroom in the morning. She had arrived a few days earlier, as classes didn't start until the eighteenth, and today it was the sixteenth and everyone was rushing around, trying to find their bearings and their own rooms.   
It was chaotic.   
Courtney wasn't all that interested in meeting her new neighbors at nine in the morning before she'd showered, so she made her way to the communal bathroom as best she could without making her self noticed.   
It was only her first day, but she was feeling overwhelmed. It took her a long time of standing in front of the mirror, taking deep breaths and reminding herself that this is what she wanted, before Courtney even climbed into the shower stall.   
The nerves were eating at her again. Not only was this a new experience, this was a new experience alone. In Africa, Courtney had found Gwen instantly. So far Courtney had found out she had a single room and that all of her classes were on the opposite end of campus. She doubted anyone else in this dorm building was going to have classes on the other side of campus as well. She was just unlucky in her placement. Courtney knew the admissions office had accepted her as one of the last first years, and they had accepted her reluctantly as part of the cultural exchange program.   
Courtney had told no one about that. Not Bridgette, not Duncan.   
Duncan.  
She had missed his arms last night. Courtney had cried herself asleep, wishing he was there with her. She felt pathetic afterwards, depending so much on a boy that she feared was likely to forget about her in the upcoming weeks. They had a long way to go.   
Stepping out from the shower itself, she quickly dried herself off and dressed for the day. It was cramped for space, but she figured walking back down the hall to her living space in just a towel would draw too much attention to her.   
Courtney opened up the stall door, pulling her make-up bag from her pack, she found herself to not be alone anymore.   
There was a scraggly boy standing by the sinks, pinching his cheeks in the mirror, a look of wide-eyed horror on his face. He didn't seem to have spotted Courtney yet, so she continued to make her way over to the sink on the other end of the counter, and went about her daily make-up routine.   
It took a few moments, but he finally turned his attention to her, an even worse look of horror crossing his face.   
"I-I...Am I in the wrong bathroom?" He asked in a nasally southern drawl that Courtney recognized as not English.   
"It's co-ed," she replied, as politely as she could.   
"Hey, you're not from around here either, huh?" Courtney turned to look at him, seeing him from the front for the first time. His complexion was dirty, as if he hadn't just been washing himself in the sink. He was a redhead, which Courtney found to be an unnatural shade of orange, and his over sized clothes matched the rest of his for cleanliness. "I'm Scott," he introduced, but didn't stick his hand out to her.   
"Courtney," she replied curtly, turning back to the mirror to continue on with her make-up.  
"Courtney. That's a pretty name for a pretty girl. You part of the exchange program, Courtney?"  
"Mm-hmm," she hummed in response, not caring for him at all. If all the people of the exchange program were like him- like Scott- Courtney was starting to wonder if she should be glad she got a single room. 

 

  
The day was long. Courtney unpacked and rearranged her bedroom four times, before she finally felt that everything was in the right place. She had taken a stroll across the campus, getting to know the local areas and scouting out where she wanted to hang out over the next however-long-she-was-there. She then retired back to her room where she arranged everything for a fifth time.   
By the time night fell, Courtney was bored out of her mind. Duncan was at work, but Bridgette had kept her company over Kik. Texting was going to cost a bombshell across the sea.   
The time difference of five hours didn't seem like much, and it was only the first day, but Courtney was starting to wonder how they would would make it work. 

 

  
Duncan finally made the first Skype call as soon as he got off work, balancing his phone on his dashboard as he drove home. They didn't want to waste a minute.   
Courtney had smiled like crazy when she'd answered the call. The connection wasn't great, but it was better than nothing. Courtney needed this. It was just past eleven in the UK, and Courtney would usually be asleep by now if she was back home, but her brain was still set on home time, which meant it was six o'clock and the sun was setting just behind her boyfriend, encasing him in a golden light.   
"I miss you," Duncan told her, and her heart swelled. "There's nothing else I can tell you, Court. I just miss you."   
Bridgette had told her she missed her too, but that was Bridgette. Bridgette had to miss her, it was part of her best friend duties. Duncan had no reason other than he truly felt it.   
Courtney wanted to tell him the same, that she missed him too, but the words didn't reach her mouth like that.   
"Do you see that sunset, Duncan?" He nodded his head. "I want you to promise me that every time you see that sunset that you think of me. That every time your sun is setting, mine is rising and I love you more than I ever thought I would. That sunset it ours."  
"It's ours."

 

  
Classes were boring. That was the first thing Courtney learned. She had had such high expectations and she felt as though the bar had been too high for anything to live up to.   
Courtney wasn't a quitter, she was going to still study hard and stick it out until graduation. Whenever that would be.  
Courtney was going to become a Lawyer, like her parents, like her grandparents, and like her great-grandparents before them. It was a family tradition and, as much as Courtney wanted to break away from what was expected of her, she still wanted to live up to the family tradition.   
She had spend hours telling Duncan about what she hoped to do with her life. She wanted to try a bit of everything before she decided what kind of Lawyer she would be. Duncan had listened not quite entrigued, but just wanting to hear Courtney talk so passionatley about something. The only time he'd ever seen her do that was when she mentioned Africa.   
Courtney laid in bed at the end of her days, watching the stars from her open bedroom window, letting the breeze lull her to sleep. She always wondered if Duncan looked at the stars and thought of her too.

 

  
The first Cultural Exchange meeting was that Friday afternoon. Courtney was glad she got to skip Friday afternoon classes every other week for this meeting.   
If this terrible place was where she wanted to be, that really said something about her lectures.   
Courtney arrived early, finding herself sat front and center.   
By the time Chris, the professor for the program, showed up, there were a few others hanging around.  
Chris quickly insisted they rearranged the desks into a horse shoe formation so they could discuss more easily.   
Chris was an older man, with greying hair, but an open-buttoned shirt and khaki cutoffs that looked like he was trying too hard to remain in his youth. He leaned back in his own seat, feet propped up on the desk, slurping down his coffee.   
Instead of doing a roll call, Chris made them do an ice breaker, going round the room introducing themselves and explaining where they came from.  
A few people stood out to Courtney. There was firstly Alejandro, who was from Barcelona, Spain. The Spanish accent was an off-put, but almost all other girls in the room were swooning for it. The only other girl in the room that didn't care for him was the one sat beside him. She introduced herself as Heather, though Courtney barely heard her over the constant scowl on her pale and painted face. Heather was from upstate New York, though she had grown up in Los Angeles, and had Asian roots. Japanese, Courtney thinks she says, though by that point she had stopped listening.   
Then there was Scott. He didn't look as shaken as he had been in the bathroom, instead he was sitting across from Courtney in the horse shoe, smirking at her like he had some devious secret. Courtney glared back until it was her turn.  
"Hi, I'm Courtney Taylor and I'm from Ontario, Canada." She quickly sat back down and no one seemed interested in asking her questions about home life. She was waiting for the hockey and maple syrup jokes to begin.   
Scott was still looking at her and she returned to glaring. The redhead had said he had grown up on a farm in Alabama. This was his first real experience in a major city other than for his sister's pig calling competitions.   
Chris let them out early, not caring that they'd barely done anything productive. 

 

  
It was dark outside by the time Courtney went wandering back to her dorm room. She's stopped by the library on her way back and got side tracked trying to trace down the novels she had forgotten to bring with her.   
Outside her dorm room was a pile of boxes and for a moment Courtney feared she was being kicked out, until a small girl with dyed-red pigtails appeared from the room opposite hers.   
"Oh hi, I'm Zoey," she greeted casually, grabbing another box and taking it back to her room.  
Courtney checked over her shoulder, but she was definitely alone in the hallway. Zoey seemed a bit forward, for all she knew Courtney was a serial killer.   
The young girl appeared again, and Courtney offered to help. Zoey eagerly accepted.   
They quickly got talking, and Courtney learned Zoey liked to talk. It wasn't obnoxious, it was more Zoey didn't know when to stop babbling. Zoey was in her second year, though she looked like she was in middle school. She was starting a week late due to family problem, but didn't delve into what those were.   
The reason Zoey was in the first years dorm room was that she'd volunteered to 'big sister' a first year for extra credit in her sociology class. Zoey would be rooming with her 'little sister', though she was yet to meet her.   
Courtney talked a little bit about herself, but didn't say too much. She had only just met this girl, but as they lived across the hall from each other, she figured they would be seeing a lot of each other.   
When all the boxes had been moved from the hallway, Courtney bid Zoey goodnight and headed back to her room.   
She checked her phone for the first time since lunch and found a lot of texts and missed calls from both Duncan and Bridgette.   
She quickly skimmed through the messages, nothing too urgent. Duncan seemed slightly angry but he explained he'd had a shitty day at work.   
Courtney decided to call him first, but he didn't answer. She figured he was still in work.   
Instead she opted to call Bridgette. The blonde answered on the sixth ring, slightly out of breath.   
"Been jogging have you, Bridge?" Courtney joked and Bridgette laughed. There was a pang in her chest when she heard it, Courtney had missed Bridgette's laugh already.   
"You know me, always keeping fit."   
The two girls talked for a bit, simply catching each other up on the horror of school. Bridgette complained that she was feeling like an idiot. No matter how hard she studied, she felt like she was being quizzed on stuff she knew nothing about. Courtney encouraged her to stick it out, it had been her life dream to be a pediatric nurse and Courtney would hate to see her give up on it.

 

  
Classes slowly got worse. It was only the end of September but talk of winter exams hung in the air.   
Courtney had no problem with exams or tests or quizzes. She aced everything, but the impending gloom that hung over her head everyday felt like something else. She didn't know what it was, maybe the constant rain that had plagued campus, or the fact Scott had taken to harassing her at every given moment, either way Courtney was feeling the suckiness of living so far from home. 

 

  
Duncan: It's four in the morning your time, why you still up?  
Courtney: Studying.  
Duncan: Go to sleep, stupid.  
Courtney has logged off.

 

  
Bridgette: Duncan's worried you're having a meltdown over the exams.  
Courtney: I'm fine.   
Bridgette: You never answer my calls.  
Courtney: I'm busy.  
Bridgette: You're going to run yourself into the ground, Court.   
Bridgette: Stop stressing so much.   
Courtney: I'm fine. Really.  
Courtney: It's just my Business lectures are absolute bullshit.  
Courtney: And Crime and Punishment is such is such a bore.   
It's been a while since your last response...  
Courtney: What if I fail everything?  
Bridgette: You won't. You have never failed anything in your life.   
Bridgette: Just...get some sleep and remember to do something other that study.  
Courtney has logged off.

 

  
Zoey: Hey! It's Zoey! Your neighbor from across the hall?   
Zoey: Anyway, me and my roomie are having a girly pampering night and would like to invite you!  
Zoey: Come over about six.  
Zoey has logged off.

 

  
Courtney didn't know what impulse drove her across the hall to Zoey's room. Bridgette's nagging words to do something else were playing on her mind.   
_Does Duncan really think I'm losing my mind?_  
"You came!" Zoey's beaming face greeted Courtney as the dorm room door swung open. "You didn't respond to my message so I figured you weren't going to but yay!" The red haired girl pulled Courtney inside before she could respond to her comment. "Courtney, this is Heather, my roommate."  
"We've met," Heather threw over her shoulder. She had her back to the other two, arranging some nail polishes on her bed. Courtney instantly recognized her from the Cultural Exchange program.   
Zoey was rattling off the plan for evening and it eased Courtney to know there was a plan. She liked organized events, even if it was a home spa day.   
The three girls settled down on the floor, beginning on Zoey's detailed schedule. And Courtney could easily say she was having fun.  
But the real fun didn't start until Heather opened the mini-fridge and pulled out the vodka.  
Courtney had not drunk any alcohol since New Years, and she didn't want a repeat of that.   
Still, Heather added a generous amount of vodka to Courtney's half glass of lemonade and before she knew it, they were all rolling around on the floor, laughing like they'd known each other for years.   
It was later in the evening when Duncan called did things get interesting.   
"Well hello," Courtney purred down the phone before giggling at herself. She was spread across Zoey's bed while the older girl painted her toenails.   
"Hello to you too," Duncan chuckled. "Are you feeling okay?"  
"Yup," she replied, popping the 'p'. "I feel just great." She burst into another fit of giggles.   
"Have you been drinking?" Duncan asked, an amused tone playing in his voice. "Who are you with?"  
"I'm with some friends," she explained, a grin on her face. Zoey and Heather let out a shout of hello. Duncan chuckled again. "What are you doing?"   
"Just leaving work for the day," Duncan replied, and Courtney could hear the smile on his face. "So I guess I'd better leave you with your friends so I can drive home."  
"Aww," Courtney whined. "But I love you sooo much."  
"I love you too."  
"I wish you were here." Heather and Zoey sent off a round of 'aww' in the background. "I miss you."  
"I miss you too," Duncan told her. "But it won't be long and we'll see each other for Christmas. I can't wait see you."   
Courtney giggled. Biting her lip, she boldly asked, "What do you want to do to me when you see me?"   
"Oh, wonderful things, my dear Courtney, but we won't talk about that while your friends are listening and you're too drunk to remember in the morning."

 

  
Courtney was too drunk to remember it in the morning. She woke up in Zoey's bed just after five, and clutched her stomach all the way to the communal bathroom.   
She hunched over the toilet and threw up four consecutive times before wiping her mouth. She felt horrid, her head aching and her stomach protesting to suddenly being so empty.   
"Rough night?"   
Courtney looked over her shoulder, hoping to find some other boy with a southern twang leaning against the sink, but just as her luck entailed, there was only one on campus.  
"Do you make a habit out of stalking me, Scott?" Courtney had meant to sound harsh but she just sounded tired.  
"Just making conversation."   
Courtney rolled her eyes. "Whatever."  
She picked herself up from the floor, wiping at her mouth again just in case. Scott watched her, but Courtney suddenly had no energy to glare at him.   
"Do you want me to walk you back to your room?" Scott offered, but Courtney shook her head. She could make it down the hallway by herself.   
Instead of heading back to Zoey and Heather's room, she fell down onto her own bed.   
Her window was open and the breeze was welcomed against Courtney's sweat streaked skin. She could see the stars again, and it hurt her chest too much to sleep.   
Courtney pulled out her phone, calling Duncan who she knew would be awake.   
He answered almost instantly.   
"Hey." Courtney could hear the smile in his voice.   
"Hey," she replied.  
"Still drunk?"   
"...What?" Duncan laughed. "Oh fuck, what did I do?" Courtney cringed, but Duncan told her not to worry about it.   
"Why are you awake?" He asked instead, no doubt looking at the clock in his bedside table. Courtney had bought him a second alarm clock, set to London time so he would always know what time it was for her.   
"I threw up."   
"The life of an alcoholic."  
"I'm not an alcoholic!" Courtney defended, but Duncan just laughed. "I think I've sworn off alcohol after New Years, and I'm swearing it off again until Christmas."   
"But look how well New Years turned out," he reminded her.   
Courtney closed her eyes, leaning back against her pillows. It had turned out well for them.  
"Anything interesting going on your end?" Duncan asked, "Because all I've got is Dom's snoring."   
"I'd take Dom's snoring over stalker Scott any day," Courtney snorted.  
"Stalker Scott?" One part of Courtney regretted mentioning him to Duncan. "Who's stalker Scott?"  
"It's no problem," Courtney replied coolly. "He's just some kid in my Cultural Exchange class, and he just seems to show up everywhere I look. It's weird, but he's harmless."   
Duncan didn't sound as convinced with her argument. "If you say so," he said.


	10. Twisted Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boys night out does not always end where it should.

_Rather than turning the page, it's much easier to just throw the book away - Anthony Liccione_

  
Duncan had to constantly remind himself that he didn't own Courtney. She could talk to other boys if she wanted to. He talked to plenty of girls and she never showed any signs of jealousy.   
_So why is stalker Scott bothering me so much?_  
He tried to push it out of his head, focusing on the car he had been working on for the last few days. It should have been an easy enough job, but thoughts of Courtney and Scott were playing in his head. It was distracting, and the jealously overcame Duncan every time.

 

  
Duncan: How's stalker Scott doing?  
Courtney: As well as any other stalker.  
Courtney: Walking me to class, sniffing my panties.  
Courtney: The usual.  
Courtney: I'm kidding by the way, I haven't seen him since CE on Friday.  
Duncan: Oh.  
Courtney: Oh? Why the oh?  
Duncan: Just glad I'm still the only man sniffing your panties.  
Courtney: You're such a perv!  
Courtney: Now leave me alone.  
Courtney: I'm in my Business lecture.  
Courtney has logged off.

 

  
Geoff: Mate, you need to chill. She's so not interested in this Scott guy  
Duncan: But what if she is?  
Geoff: Shut your whiny ass up, she loves you!!!  
Duncan has logged off.

 

  
Uncle Rick called Duncan into his office on Wednesday morning. Duncan knew he had been slacking, and all he could do was pray he wasn't about to get laid off it.   
"Something been on your mind, Duncan?" Duncan sighed, throwing his head back. "It's Courtney isn't it?"  
"Geoff told you?"  
Uncle Rick chuckled. "Yes. But it's also written all over your face. You're young and in love, and your girlfriend is on another continent." Uncle Rick wasn't very old, mid-thirties, if Duncan had to take a guess. He was balding around the edges, but he always had a smile on his face that distracted everyone from that. "But she's not on another planet, Duncan."  
Duncan got the rest of the week off, in hopes that he would come back in on Monday morning with nothing but hard work on his mind.  
There was a first time for everything.

 

  
Courtney wasn't too happy when he finally told her the truth.   
"Duncan, if you're jealous over Scott then you have a serious problem," she assured him. Duncan knew there was nothing going on with the two, but it worried him to no end still. "If you do have a problem like this, you need to tell me, okay?" Duncan nodded his head.   
Their bi-weekly Skype sessions were all that was keeping him going at the moment. He had no idea how they were going to cope for another six weeks. It was hard to believe she'd been gone for so long already, but at least Courtney would be home for three weeks over Christmas break, and Duncan would use as many days off as he could while she was there.   
"Seriously, Scott's just a creep." She pulled a disgusted face and Duncan laughed. His gut was aching, wishing she was really lying there in front of him. Or better yet, beside him, tucked inside his arms as he held her close with no intentions of letting go. 

 

  
Duncan found himself doing the school run for his younger siblings on his days off. He didn't mind taking the twins to school, but Dominic was an ungrateful ass who Duncan didn't want to share his breathing space with.  
During the drive from the house to the High school, Dominic had done nothing but argue with Duncan over petty things which Duncan knew he was right about. Dominic couldn't admit when he was wrong. It scared Duncan because he used to be exactly like that.  
When it was just Duncan and the twins, the tension lifted from the car. The elementary wasn't that far away, but Duncan felt at total ease with the two little ones playing eye-spy in the backseat.  
He walked them into the school yard before the bell rung, getting strange looks from the other kids their age, as their overbearing mothers pulled them away from Duncan. Duncan always had that effect on people.  
Daisy gave him a quick hug before she ran off to her classroom and Duncan suddenly felt alone again.

 

  
For the first time in his life, Duncan wished he had a friend outside of Geoff. Geoff was at work. His girlfriend was still in the same country as him, he could keep an eye on any creepy stalkers that came anywhere near Bridgette.  
At this moment, Duncan would take Bridgette's company, but even she was in school on a Thursday afternoon.   
He ended up stuck in his bedroom, playing on his new PlayStation, but the appeal was no longer there. It had only been a couple of months, no where near a full year yet, but Duncan felt like a changed man. He hated to admit it, but his parents had been right. Duncan had had a lot of growing up to do. But now he was feeling so grown up, what was he supposed to do?

 

  
On Friday morning, he found unexpected company in his sister-in-law, Delilah.   
Delilah was Drake's fiancee, the one that he had bought the perfect house with to live his perfect life in. Duncan and Delilah got on better than he and Drake, but not by much. They had always argued like siblings, childish bickering on both ends. Delilah always wanted to defend Drake, while Duncan wanted nothing more than to tear him down.   
It wasn't the easiest of relationships, but on this strange Friday afternoon, Duncan found himself being comforted by having her around.   
"The rain reminds me of you, because it's falling hard and I am too." Duncan turned his head to find Delilah leering in the doorway. "You have got it so bad, Duncan."  
He turned his head back the television set in the living room. He wasn't bothered by her presence.   
"Drake tells me she's a lovely girl." Duncan snorted, the image of Drake trying to get a peek down Courtney's top playing like a movie scene in his mind. "I bet Danica was happy to have some female company for the summer. I would have loved to have meet her. Oh well, guess there's always the Christmas party."  
They talked for a while, not biting each others heads off for a while. Delilah was a night nurse, and Duncan knew she'd been a great help to Bridgette in the beginning. She wasn't a horrid person, she just fell for one.   
Duncan wondered if people thought the same about him and Courtney. They weren't the obvious match, but she definitely did something good to him.   
The more he thought about Courtney, the more his body was starting to ache again. Duncan never thought he would crave a person this badly. He never knew anyone could crave someone this badly. It was a new experience for him, and from what Courtney said, this was all new for her as well. 

 

  
Duncan: I love you.  
Courtney: What a beautiful message to wake up to.  
Courtney: I love you too.  
Duncan: I miss you.  
Courtney: Okay, now you're just sleep deprived.  
Courtney: It's nearly 3am! Go to sleep!  
Duncan: But I can't stop thinking of you :(  
Courtney: You're turning into a sap.   
Courtney: It won't be long, few more weeks, and I'll be home with you.   
Courtney: I love you.  
Courtney: I have to go get some breakfast before my first class.  
Duncan: See you soon :*  
Courtney has logged off.

 

  
They continually texted through Courtney's Saturday class. She'd told Duncan it was for extra credit, and because she was just so bored out of her mind on weekends. She was still getting used to being away from home, and Duncan had to admit he'd find it hard too.   
Duncan ended up staying awake the whole night. Courtney urged him to sleep, but he couldn't. His brain was wired, bored out of his mind, aching for his girlfriend.   
He was turning into a sap. He was starting to hate himself for it.   
And, luckily enough, Geoff called him around lunch time.  
"Courtney asked Bridgette to ask me to take your sorry ass for a night out," Geoff explained to his best friend. Duncan sighed. He didn't want to go out, he didn't feel like it. But Duncan knew he had to. His life was slowly slipping back to what it had once been, and Duncan didn't want to go back to that.   
It wouldn't be too long until Courtney got home, and he wanted to be a whole man for his girlfriend when he picked her up from the airport. 

 

  
The bar was loud. Duncan and Geoff fought for their seats, but managed to collapse into two in the middle of the room.   
Geoff went off to collect the first round, and Duncan rubbed his hands across his face. He was adjusting to the noise. It had been months since he'd been to a bar or to a club. Duncan only went to either to pick up girls, and he no longer needed that.   
The two young boys talked the night away. Duncan didn't realize how much he had missed his best friend. They only talked in work, and even that seemed like passing conversation these days. Duncan didn't want to lose Geoff, he knew that Geoff was all he had, and Geoff had been all he had for a long time.   
Conversation was light, mostly new games the other was playing or work related jokes. It wasn't until later on in the night, when some blonde chick that Duncan had been spying from across the bar walked up to the pair asked Duncan if he was going to buy her a drink, did the conversation turn heavier.  
Duncan declined, of course. Geoff was watching him suspiciously as she approached. For a split second, Duncan considered, but the image of Courtney's smiling face over Skype passed his mind and he couldn't do it. Couldn't do it to himself, couldn't do it to Courtney.   
"I've never seen you like this over a girl," Geoff commented, a smile on his face as he took another slug of beer. "She's really done a number on you."  
Duncan sighed, nodding his head. He never thought of himself as the commitment type. This time last year, fresh out of High school, the world at his feet, Duncan would never have seen himself settling down like he had over the summer.   
Courtney had changed him. He felt changed. From the moment they were sitting on Geoff's roof, to the moment he walked out on her that morning after. When he had seen her in the office at the auto shop, that was the moment he knew he couldn't live another second yearning for her to be by his side. Now they were stuck with an ocean between them, and Duncan never thought he would miss Courtney this much. But he did.  
"I don't know what I'm gonna do," Duncan sighed once more.   
"You got it so bad."  
"That's exatcly what 'Lilah said."  
"Lilah? Your sister-in-law Lilah? Drake's soon-to-be-wife Lilah?" Geoff leaned forward, not blinking as Duncan refused to answer. That was the only Lilah they both knew. Geoff knew all about Drake, having grown up like an extra sibling in the Evans house. Duncan confided all in his best friend when they were kids.   
"She showed up at the house yesterday. We had a good talk," Duncan admitted.   
"I thought she was psychotic."  
"She is, when Drake's around," Duncan insisted. If anyone would believe him on that, it would be Geoff. "But when she's on her own, she's alright. And she's been good to Bridge, right?" Geoff couldn't argue with that. "How is that going for you?" Duncan asked, downing the last of his own drink.   
Geoff shrugged. "As good as it can, I suppose." Duncan knew Geoff and Bridgette was the 'it' couple. They weren't going to break up anytime soon. They'd been together for three years now, they were going to stick it out through marriage. The thought terrified both boys. 

 

  
The end of the night brought not enough drunkenness for Duncan's liking. He still hauled Geoff's ass home. He was crying, screaming out to the night sky about how much he loved Bridgette. Duncan was laughing, at least. Laughing over his friends awkwardness made him forget about his own troubles for a short while.   
That was until he got into his bedroom at 3am and Courtney was online again. 

 

  
Duncan: Good morning to you, beautiful.  
Courtney: What are you still doing up?  
Courtney: :)  
Duncan: Just got in.   
Duncan: I love you so much.  
Courtney: How much did you drink?  
Duncan: Not enough.  
Duncan: I need more alcohol.  
Duncan: And you. On a rooftop.  
Courtney: Watching the sunrise?  
Duncan: Exactly!  
Courtney: Get your drunk ass to sleep, Mr. Evans.   
Courtney: I'll see you when you wake up.  
Courtney: I love you too.  
Duncan has logged off.

 

  
It hit him hard how much he needed Courtney in his life.

 

  
With her exams coming up, Duncan realized Courtney had not a lot of time for him. She was always studying. Even their bi-weekly Skype sessions were few and far between.   
Duncan was feeling the force of it. He was back in work now, not as distracted as before. Courtney wasn't around to talk a lot, and he could feel his mind slipping her from focus.   
It hit him the hardest on another Saturday night out with Geoff. The blonde surfer had left his best friend alone at the bar to order drinks, when the young woman approached him.   
She was pale, with dark hair and faded highlights. Duncan was focused on her eyes, a dark green that distracted him from the bartender that was snapping his fingers in front of Duncan's face.   
"Let me buy you a drink," the girl offered. Duncan nodded in agreement before he could stop himself.   
"I usually don't let pretty girls buy me a drink without me at least knowing their name." Duncan gave her a smirk, and she leaned in closer to him.  
"I'm Gwen. You?"  
"Duncan." Gwen smiled, her lips curling around her pink straw. Duncan felt his chest sink.


	11. Pulling Current

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It takes a time warp for them to feel better again.

_The magic thing about home is that it feels good to leave, and it feels even better to come back - Wendy Wunder_

Exams tired Courtney. She had never felt so physically exhausted before, and it pained her.   
She sat her exams in the morning, took a brief nap in the afternoon, studied through to the evening and then slept for a full eight hours. Then started again.  
Courtney could feel her body and mind being run into the ground. This stuff was easy enough for her, but she was stressing. Bridgette constantly told Courtney she was an over worrier, and Courtney wished Bridgette was there to knock some sense into her.  
Courtney had been ignoring everyone around her. Bridgette, Geoff, Gwen, Zoey, Heather, Scott. Duncan.   
_Duncan._  
Her own parents had even decided to call. But she'd ignored everyone to focus on her studies. It was slowly killing her, Courtney could feel it.   
So when Gwen did call, just after her last exam, Courtney breathed a sigh of relief and eagerly answered the phone.   
"I thought you'd died from pronged exposure to English weather," Gwen greeted. Courtney groaned. "I need to tell you about the cute boy I met at the bar."  
"What do you need to tell me about him?" Courtney enquires, rolling onto her stomach.   
"I need to tell you he's cute. Like super cute. Like puppies-got-nothing-on-you cute."  
Courtney couldn't stop herself, she was laughing before she knew it. It felt strange for her to be gossiping about boys again. It was like a weight she hadn't know was holding her down had been lifted. Courtney had missed having someone around to make her feel lighter.   
The two girls talked for a while, nothing heavy. They talked about Africa, how much they both missed it. They talked about the boy at the bar, and how Gwen didn't even get his phone number. They talked about Courtney, and how they would definitely have to meet up over Christmas break when Courtney was home.   
Courtney called Bridgette next. When the conversation ended with Gwen, Courtney realized how much she needed to talk to everyone she missed.  
Bridgette was, as always, with Geoff. The three had a raging argument about rain vs. snow. Muskoka was covered in white fluffiness, Courtney was yet to see a ray of sun.   
There was only two more weeks until Courtney was home. She was getting excited to see everyone. Her family. Her friends. Duncan.   
_Duncan._  
He was next on her list.   
He didn't answer.  
First ring.  
Second ring.  
Third ring.  
No answer.  
Instead, Courtney rolled off her bed, grabbing at her desk seat. She quickly made use of turning on her laptop, and sure enough, Duncan was online. Courtney instantly video called him.   
"Where's your phone?" She asked before he had even finished smiling.   
"My...what?" Duncan patted his pockets, but came up empty handed. His head turned up towards his bedroom door, and Courtney found herself trying to crane her neck even though she couldn't see anything from her side of the screen.   
"Courtney called."  
"You little shit." It was closely followed by Daisy's high-pitched scream. Courtney was laughing again, though Duncan had ran off screen to chase his little sister. Even though she wasn't there in person, it felt as if she was. The family life that the Evans shared, that was something Courtney was so grateful to be apart of.   
Duncan reappeared, waving his cell phone, not too long later. And they talked for eight hours before Duncan finally fell asleep in front of the screen. Courtney leaned forward, pressing her lips to the screen. It wouldn't be long until she could do it in person.

 

  
"Until next year, ladies," Heather leaned in, clinking her glasses in turn with Courtney and Zoey. Courtney couldn't wipe the smile off her face. It felt good to have friends to return to in the new year.   
Zoey would be staying in Oxford. She was from London, close enough to travel to without being constantly around her family, as the red haired girl had so elegantly put it.   
Heather would be returning to New York, jumping on an airplane the day after Courtney was. Heather's life of luxury was waiting for her on the other end, and Courtney was starting to wonder if that's what Duncan thought about when they hung out at Courtney's house.  
The two came from different worlds, Courtney wasn't naive enough to think otherwise. She could compare her mansion to Duncan's tiny house, and how much she would wish she lived in a tiny house with a big family. Courtney felt empty at home, had done for a long time. When she was with the Evans family, Courtney felt at home.

 

  
Scott was hanging around outside Courtney's final class. His rusted hair wasn't hard to spot through the mess of darker tones. He stood out, drawing Courtney to him.   
"Merry Christmas." Scott's expression didn't waver, hard as stone as he stared at Courtney.   
She stared back. "Merry Christmas."  
"Mistletoe." Courtney lifted her head to see that hanging above the pair was a small bush of greenery. She dropped her head back down, opening her mouth with a witty comment on her lips, but Scott caught it with his.   
Courtney stumbled back a half step. His lips were on hers. Her lips were on his. And she wasn't pulling away instantly. 

 

  
The plane ride was silent. Not a lot of people were travelling to Canada so close to Christmas, in such troubled weather.   
Courtney wanted to sleep but her stomach was hurting. It had been hurting ever since that kiss. She knew she would have to tell Duncan about it. She hadn't done it yet. She'd chickened out every time.   
It was Scott. Stalker Scott! Duncan was already jealous enough. He didn't need to know about it, Courtney tried to convince herself of that. She was wrong of course.  
 _If you do have a problem like this, you need to tell me, okay?_  
Courtney did not appreciate sounding like a hypocrite. 

 

  
There he was. A grin split across his aching face as Courtney came into view. Courtney was running, her bags forgotten, jumping into Duncan's arms. It was an embarrassing, movie moment, but Courtney was over the cliches.   
Her lips were falling into Duncan's, getting the taste of Scott off her. Duncan held Courtney close, both arms wrapped around her protectively. They had fallen right back into place, as if they had never been apart.  
Courtney's stomach hurt more than ever. 

 

  
The warm welcome from the Evans family was unexpected. Geoff and Bridgette had shown up to, for the welcome home party that her own parents had forgotten to throw her.   
Once Duncan had dropped Courtney's bag off at her own home, she'd taken him straight to his house. Everyone had attacked Courtney with hugs and stories. Daisy had a wobbly tooth that she just had to show to Courtney, and Dominic was failing four classes, which Angela whacked him over the head for as this was the first time she had heard about it too.   
Danica hooked onto Courtney's arm and refused to let go, dragging her to the corner where another young woman was sat. She had hair the same color as Courtney's, but that was where any similarities ended. Delilah had a pointed nose to match her pointed chin. Her bright eyes were set on Courtney, but she could see her casually glancing over to her partner across the room, keeping a watchful eye on him at the same time.  
"Courtney, this is Lilah, Drake's fiancee." The two young women regarded each other with smiles. "Lilah, this is Courtney, Duncan's hot piece of ass."  
Courtney rolled her eyes. She was used to the boys referring to her as that, but now Danica had caught onto it as well.   
"So lovely to finally meet the famous Courtney," Lilah continued to smile out her words.   
"Didn't know I was so famous," Courtney replied, a little taken back. Bridgette had told Courtney how nice Delilah was. Duncan did nothing about bitch about her. Courtney didn't know how she was going to make up her mind. Delilah;s words were kind, but her tone was icy.   
"Of course you are, all of the boys can't shut up about you. Right, Dani?" Danica eagerly nodded her head in agreement. "See, famous."  
Duncan was staring at Courtney from across the room, and Courtney's eyes found his. She pulled a 'help me' face. Duncan simply laughed. Geoff leaned in and whispered something to him, and Courtney was wishing she was on that side of the room.

 

  
Christmas Eve was spent at the Evans house. Courtney wouldn't have wanted anything else. Her parents were working and the Evans family were more than welcoming than she could have ever hoped for.   
The kids were to bed early, Daisy begging for Courtney to tuck her in instead of daddy. Mr. Evans had rolled his eyes and allowed Courtney to put the young girl to bed, whispers of what Santa Claus was going to bring them shared in secret.   
On her way back down, Courtney found Duncan waiting for her at the bottom of the staircase. He had a goofy grin on his face, the kind she didn't see often as he covered his amusement with smirks for the most part.   
"The kids love you, you know," he told her, titling his head to the side.  
"I know." Courtney stopped two steps up, wrapping her arms around Duncan's neck at an even height. His hands were quickly on her waist, his head tipped back slightly as Courtney rested her forehead against his.   
They were both smiling now, now words passing between them. Courtney was starting to feel right with the world. Then the memory of the kiss with Scott haunted her thoughts once more.  
"Duncan," Courtney quietly mumbled. He hummed in response, telling her to go on. "I-I need to...Um, there's something you should know." Duncan didn't respond this time. "There was a mistletoe outside one of my classes, and I was saying goodbye to my friend, and he kissed me. But it was only a quick peck and it meant nothing and-"  
Duncan shut Courtney up with his lips against hers. It was not what she had been expecting.   
"Jeez, get a room," Dominic commented as he pushed past the couple on the staircase.   
Courtney bit on her lip, not looking Duncan in the eyes. Dominic slammed the door behind him, and the distant yells of Mr. Evans could be heard.   
Duncan pulled Courtney's face to look at him, his hand cupping her cheek as she leaned into his touch. His eyes were forgiving.   
"I'm not mad at you." Courtney could see it on his face that he wasn't mad at her. "I mean, I have kissed Bridgette four times under the mistletoe since she had Geoff got together so I can't really say I haven't been on the other end..."  
A faint smile reached across Courtney's face, and she threw her arms back around Duncan's neck, holding him to her like she never wanted to let him go.   
"Merry Christmas, Court," Duncan mumbled into her hair.  
"Merry Christmas."

 

  
Waking up in Duncan's arms, was the perfect way to start Christmas.   
Courtney had stayed over at the Evans house, sleeping on the sofa instead of cramming herself into Danica and Daisy's tiny bedroom. They had the smallest room because there was only two of them, and Danica wasn't around a lot during the year.   
Duncan shared a room with all of his brothers growing up. It was only a three bedroom house, and his parents needed the other room for themselves.   
But Courtney opened her eyes, his smiling face pressed against hers. Courtney giggled, cuddling closer to her boyfriend.   
"If there weren't little kids about to run in and tear open presents," Duncan whispered. "My head would be so far under these blankets..."  
"Oh my God, I think I actually just threw up."   
Both teenagers quickly turned to see Danica standing in the doorway, doubled over, one hand clutching her stomach, the other clutching her chest. She was gagging, and Duncan threw a spare cushion at her head. 

 

  
Courtney loved watching the little kids open their gifts. Daisy and Duke had such a look of amazement, even Dominic cracked a smile at the sight of it. Duncan sat with his arm around Courtney's shoulders, holding her close as they watched the scene unfold.   
Things were looking up for Courtney. She felt safe and secure for the first time in a long while.   
Of course, it couldn't stay that way. Around midday, Courtney got the unexpected call from her mom.   
"Hello?" She answered, unsure of herself. The Evans stopped to watch. "Well, no, I'm not." Courtney got to her feet, excusing herself from the room to continue the conversation in peace. The thin walls did not help, and no one said a word, pressing their ears to the wall. "Daddy said you were flying out to Bali this morning."  
"The flight got cancelled. We expected you to be home." She wasn't angry, Courtney's mom, but she was stern. Courtney was expected to be home, as always, and it was new behavior for Courtney to not be home on Christmas Day. It was the only day a year where Bridgette stayed at home with her own family. The Taylor's went away most Christmas'. Last year had been Courtney's first year to not go away with her parents. This year she had told them no as well. She hadn't even seen her parents since she had touched down from England. 

 

  
The drive was unpleasant. Snow covered the roads, but it wasn't fresh anymore. Courtney was angry, Duncan was silent. It wasn't him she was mad at. All of a sudden, Courtney's mother had decided that she wanted to spend time with her daughter on Christmas day. This had never happened before in Courtney's entire life, she was sure of it.   
Duncan pulled up in front of the Taylor's house. Courtney felt colder than ever. It wasn't from the zero temperatures.   
"Hey, I'll see you in a few days," Duncan assured her, but Courtney didn't feel better at all. She had no idea what to even say to her parents. Before, it was always about college. About the future. They all had their goals, dreams, aspirations. Her parents had so much knowledge to impart onto their young daughter. And now things were different. Courtney was doubting everything for the first time in her life. Things were not the same as they had been a year ago, two years ago, a lifetime ago.   
"New Years Eve." Duncan nodded his head. New Years Eve. That was when they would see each other again. "Do you want me to pick you up?"  
"You want to pick me up?" He raised an eyebrow. He was the one who chauffeured Courtney everywhere, if Bridgette wasn't doing it first.   
"Yeah. I figured it was about time I got my car out of the garage," Courtney shrugged. "Plus, if it gets wrecked at the party then it gives my parents a reason as to not constantly tell me that I should be driving my own car, with the added bonus of hanging around the auto shop while you repair it."  
"Sneaky," Duncan smirked.   
They sat and stared at each other for a while. Courtney was reluctant to get out of the car. She wanted to stay with Duncan, in her happy moment, just the two of them.   
"I know we said we weren't going to get each other presents." Courtney had been very strict on presents. She knew Duncan had a lot of people to buy for, while he didn't earn a lot from the auto shop. "But I wanted to get you this." He pulled out a small box from the driver side door pocket.   
"Duncan..."  
"Shh, just open it." He handed Courtney the box, and she took it reluctantly. It was square, made of velvet. The name across the top was from the jewelers down town and Courtney knew they weren't cheap. It was where her parents got their new wedding rings from when they renewed their vows, and Courtney's parents would not settle from less than the best.   
She pulled open the box. There was a thin silver chain, looping around the outside, spiraling towards the center where a silver heart pendant sat. Courtney's breath hitched as she stared down as the necklace. On the pendant was engraved the words: _Keep watching the sky._  
And Courtney started crying.   
"Jeez, I can take it back," Duncan tried to joke. Courtney punched him in the arm before throwing her arms around his neck. His laughter died against Courtney's hair, "I love you so much."  
"I love you too."

 

  
It was awkward in the house for the full seven days. The moment she stepped through the door, her mother had made some comment about Duncan being the one to drop her home at 'unsolicited' hours.   
Courtney barely left her bedroom, and ended up Skyping Bridgette for the majority of it. Bridgette was away in Toronto, visiting her cousins until the day before New Years.   
Geoff was throwing another one of his famous parties, making a big deal of the whole 'one year' thing between the young couple that were his best friends. Courtney had shoved him into a nearby wall when she heard. Bridgette simply laughed, telling her best friend how cute it was.   
One year. Courtney couldn't believe how fast time had gone. This time last year she was prepping for Africa. For Singida. She had no idea what would have been in store for her, and how much one boy had plagued her every thought the entire time.   
Courtney had a lot of regrets from her past, but Duncan was not one of them. 

 

  
The unusual day came the day before New Years Eve. Both of her parents had called her down to the kitchen for breakfast. She arrived ten minutes later than she'd asked them to and didn't even bother changing out of her boy shorts and tank top. Mr and Mrs Taylor were dressed in their business suits, ready to take on the day for work.   
"You're late," Courtney's mother remarked, tapping her wrist watch as the sullen teenager entered the kitchen.   
"My clock is still running on British time."  
"Then you should be five hours early," Mr. Taylor muttered. Courtney hummed in response. She found herself not caring.   
Courtney turned from pouring her coffee, watching both of her parents sitting across the table from each other. They were both watching her with concerned, curious eyes. Courtney loved her parents, she would never tell anyone that she didn't. And she knew they loved her too, they just had a different way of showing it to most other parents. They weren't always there for her, had sent their regards when they couldn't make it to a single one of her school performances, and were very difficult to hold a conversation with, but they made up for it the best they could.  
"Courtney, sweetie," Mrs. Taylor tried to smile through her words. "We need to talk to you about...your boyfriend." Courtney could have sworn her mother had tried to cover a wince on the last word. Boyfriend.   
They didn't like Duncan. Courtney wasn't even going to pretend that she thought they would grow to like him over time.   
"I love him." That was all Courtney stated.   
"Oh, honey," Mrs. Taylor started again, but Courtney cut across.   
"I love him," she repeated. "You're not going to change my mind. You're not going to convince me that it's a crush, or puppy love, or that he's going to break my heart because he has a reputation. Said reputation that you don't like and therefore and very easily to dismiss before even getting to know him.  
"Are you aware that I know every single member of his family personally? I don't smile and greet them just because _they're my boyfriends family_. His brothers and sister have welcomed me, I regard them as friends. His parents are nothing more than loving, accepting of our relationship. You don't even know his name."  
No one spoke after that. The bitter silence radiated through the house. Courtney promptly left her parents, stunned into nothing more than wide eyes. 

 

  
"Sexy, sexy," Bridgette laughed, watching Courtney twirl in her sequined dress. The two girls had decided to dress up a bit. Bridgette donned a red number, her thin lips painted to match. Bridgette was not one for make-up, but she was feeling it for that night. This was a special night for all of them. This marked the anniversary that Bridgette had introduced her best friend to her boyfriend and started a revolution in their lives.   
"Can you grab my car keys?" Courtney called, struggling to poke her earrings through her long closed up holes.   
"Are you sure you want to drive tonight?" Bridgette asked. Courtney rolled her eyes.   
"Yes, Bridgey, I want to drive." It had been a while since Courtney had been behind the wheel of her car, but she was confident she still knew what she was doing. "We'll be staying the night at Geoff's, anyway. I can drive home in morning so I can still get drunk."  
"I like drunk Courtney," Bridgette smiled, leaning against her door frame. "She's my favorite Courtney." The brunette rolled her eyes once more, taking her car keys from Bridgette's spinning finger.   
"Just get your ass in the car."

 

  
As soon as the car pulled up in front of the Evans house, Courtney could see the kids gathering in the window. It was still fairly early in the evening, but Geoff liked to start his parties early.   
Both girls got out of the car and were instantly ploughed down by Dominic's excited face.  
"That's a Maserati GranCabrio MC," the young boy squealed. Courtney couldn't help but laugh. If expensive cars were all it took to get through to him she would have driven herself over a long time ago.   
"You know your cars," Courtney commented, handing the keys out to Dominic. "Just don't go too far, we'll be leaving soon."  
Dominic stood in stunned silence for a moment. "...You're serious?"   
Courtney nodded, but before Dominic could grab the keys, Driver ran past and got to them first. He was already climbing into the drivers seat before Dominic had even realized what had happened. The younger boy chased after his older brother, shouting obscenities as he went.   
"Are you sure you want them in your ridiculously expensive car?" Duncan asked, he had a grin on his face, but he still looked concerned.   
"They'll be fine," Courtney smiled, tightening her fingers around Duncan's shirt. "You look handsome."   
"And I'm gonna puke," Bridgette states, pushing past the pair.   
Courtney rolled her eyes, pulling Duncan closer. Their lips grazed each other but didn't push any further. Instead, Courtney quickly sauntered off into the house, Daisy's quickly trailing after her.   
The house was still alive, everyone trying to squeeze into the living room to watch the New York ball drop. Duncan had explained to Courtney how it was the family tradition, and she asked if he wanted to stay in with his family to take part in it. Duncan refused.   
"I forgot to tell you how beautiful you are." Duncan snaked his arms around Courtney's waist, his chin resting on her shoulder. "You are so beautiful."  
Courtney felt her cheeks flush, turning to bury her face into the side on Duncan's head. She couldn't get the thought that one year ago today they had met. This time last year she had no idea who he was, or how important he would become to her. Courtney could only hope he stayed as important. 

 

  
The party was a rush. Courtney and Bridgette hadn't stopped dancing for four straight songs, but Courtney wasn't feeling tired at all. She kept her eyes on Duncan the whole night, watching him over her best friends shoulder. He was laughing at the pair, along with Geoff.  
Bridgette rolled her eyes, pushing her best friend towards her boyfriend as she grabbed at her own. Geoff got up to dance with Bridgette while Courtney took a seat sideways on Duncan's lap. Her hand rubbed his jaw line as she pressed their noses together. Duncan chuckled, leaning up and kissing her nose.   
"I've missed you so much these last few days," Courtney admitted.   
"I've missed you too." Courtney could hear the honesty in his voice. He has missed her as much as she'd missed him, and it settled her stomach to know as much.   
There was so much doubt in the back of Courtney's mind. Some small part of herself believing the words of her parents. Duncan looked like a bad boy, Duncan was a bad boy, Duncan had the reputation as a bad boy. Courtney couldn't believe she would be naive enough to find that she had been the one to change his ways completely. But, at the same time, Courtney could see the way Duncan looked at her. It was the same look she had seen Geoff give Bridgette when they had first started dating. The same look he gave her even now, almost four years later. Courtney had envied that look for so long, secretly wishing for someone, anyone to look at her like that just once. Now she had Duncan, and he looked at her like she hung the stars in the night sky just for the two of them to gaze at. It gave her the most unreal feeling.   
This was not the night for doubts. This was the night for second chances, for fresh beginnings. Last year had been the biggest mistake of Courtney's life, and she planned on making it right.  
"Come on." Courtney grabbed Duncan's hand, jumping from his lap. He didn't protest to being led away from the main party, up the stairs and into the small bedroom where all of their problems has begun.   
The two didn't stop to commemorate. Courtney led them to the window and Duncan unlatched it, sliding the glass upwards to allow the couple into the night.   
It was cold, snow still littering the ground. Courtney shivered slightly, but Duncan pulled her close. They both took their seats on the rooftop, staring at the sinking sun. The skyline was beautiful, the shadows cast across their twinned bodies as Duncan refused to let go of his girlfriend. Courtney couldn't keep the smile off her face.   
They sat, and they talked, and they reminisced about how fast time was flying by. Soon Courtney would be leaving for England all over again. Soon Courtney would be back for summer vacation. Duncan had no other plans. Working at the auto shop wasn't his life goal, but it would do for now. He would follow Courtney to the ends of the world, and he was prepared to wait as long as he needed for her.


	12. Leaving Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Duncan fucks up.

_The magic thing about home is that it feels good to leave, and it feels even better to come back - Wendy Wunder_

The thought of New Years morning played in his mind. Duncan hadn't stopped thinking about it for the whole week since it happened. If there was anyway for the two to tell each other that they believed in second chances, that was it. Waking up with Courtney in his arms had been some sort of miracle.   
Duncan couldn't explain it, but everything felt right in the world. He wanted to hit himself in the head for how cliched it sounded. But it was right. That's how he felt. Nothing could go wrong in the moment where he brushed back her hair, allowing his lips to leave trails of kisses across her arm, chest and stomach.   
She woke up not long after him, a smile already playing on her lips. Duncan just wanted to stare at her.  
It had gone as perfect as they could have expected. One year later, in the same room as before, second chances were born between them. Courtney didn't push Duncan away, Duncan didn't leave in hurry. They spent their sweet time getting to know each other a little better between the sheets. For the first time in a long while, Duncan felt at ease. 

 

  
Uncle Rick had given Duncan a few extra days off work after the holidays. The snow storms had quietened the work as no one was daring to go for a drive, which worked to Duncan's advantage. Courtney would be leaving for England again soon, and he wanted to spend every moment he had with her until then.   
They had stayed at his house to start with, until Courtney's parents broke the news that they would be heading out to Bali a few weeks later than planned. After they left, to which Courtney didn't even go home to say goodbye, the couple moved to the Taylor's mansion on the upper side of town.   
Duncan found himself still amazed every time he arrived at Courtney's house. A pang of guilt hit him hard, telling himself that he wasn't good enough for Courtney because he didn't come from the same life of luxury that she did. But one look at his girl and everything else was forgotten.   
In one clever swoop, he threw Courtney over his shoulder, much to her protest, and carried her inside the house.   
"Duncan!" She whined, playfully hitting her hands against his rear end.   
Duncan replied by throwing her onto one of the sofas in the lounge room. Courtney wasted no time pulling him down on top of her. 

 

  
They spent all of their days playing house. Cooking for each other- or burning things for each other, in Courtney's case- and just being together at every waking moment.   
Their phones lay forgotten, and neither of them had even touched the computer in days. They had no communication with the outside world, they just lived in their perfect little heaven.   
That was until it was time for Courtney to leave again.  
She had been home for three weeks, but the school term started back up again at Oxford University in just a few days time. All the flights had been booked up closer to the day, the only one Courtney could get was four days earlier than what she would have liked.   
Duncan drove her to the airport in his beat up old car. Courtney offered him her car while she was away, but Duncan refused on the grounds that he couldn't trust his brothers with something so expensive.   
Duncan understood why Courtney had hidden the luxury for so long. It was one of those things that was just too nice. Courtney wasn't flashy, she never had been, as far as Duncan remembered. She had never come across as one of those rich bitches in school, always building her own reputation instead of following her peers.   
The goodbye was hard, as it always was. Duncan wiped away Courtney's tears, with the promise that they would be back together very soon. Courtney wasn't coming home for Easter break. She had more exams coming up and she was going to use that time to study hard. She would be home mid-May, which wasn't that far away really. Four months. Four long months. They had already battled three months, one more wouldn't be a problem.   
Courtney reluctantly got on the plane, and her words about regretting her decision to go to a school so far away rang in Duncan's ear. It hurt him to see her go. It hurt him more to know that she didn't want to be there. Duncan was still saving up his money, preparing to take a visit out to England in the year. It probably wouldn't be this half of the year, probably wait until the beginning of Courtney's second year by the time he had enough.   
Duncan left the airport feeling empty inside. 

 

  
Life returned to normal. Duncan went to work everyday, and Geoff had convinced him to go out every weekend. The pair danced with girls who wanted more but they were both faithful.   
Almost faithful.   
Duncan had the shock of his life when the girl with the pink straw was at the bar again. She remembered him, and the blush that crept along her pale face had him forgetting his own name.   
Gwen.   
That was her name. Gwen.   
Gwen was a lot more Duncan's speed. The two spent four hours simply discussing horror movies. They would have stayed there for much longer if Geoff hadn't interrupted them.   
The young man pulled Duncan aside, whispering, "What about Courtney?" harshly in his ear.   
For the first time all night, Duncan thought about his girlfriend. He felt guilty. Then he remembered the mistletoe incident and, before he thought about it anymore, he was already kissing Gwen.   
Geoff didn't try to pull Duncan away, but when he pulled away of his own accord, Geoff was not happy. 

 

  
The two boys didn't talk for a week, and Duncan didn't speak to anyone else. He went to work, went home and went to bed. He was tired to do anything, since he wasn't sleeping at all anymore.   
He felt guilty. Duncan never felt guilty. He was realizing how badly he had fucked up. Courtney had been nothing but honest with him about her kiss with whoeverthefuckhewas. Duncan wasn't angry with her for it, it was a mistletoe kiss that he could tell meant nothing to her. She had been so scared telling him about it.   
Duncan hated to admit it, but he had cheated on Courtney. 

 

  
He didn't tell her.   
By the way Bridgette was staring at him suspiciously and not going ninja on his ass, Duncan suspected Geoff hadn't told his girlfriend either.   
Duncan continued to ignore everyone around him. Bridgette was hard to ignore because she wouldn't leave him alone. He was trying to work on this weeks car, but Bridgette was following him around in circles, not shutting her goddamned mouth.   
"Did you and Geoff have a fight? I tried asking Geoff but he keeps telling me that he doesn't want to talk about it," Bridgette raised an eyebrow, resting herself against the hood of the car. "Geoff and I always tell each other everything. We don't keep secrets." Duncan glared at Bridgette. He knew what she was getting at. "Are you keeping secrets from Courtney? Does Geoff know? Will he not tell me because he knows I'll tell Courtney and she'll rip your balls off?"   
"I don't want to talk about it." Duncan slammed the toolbox closed for dramatic effect, storming away from Bridgette. She only followed him back to the office.   
"Fine. I'm not pushing you to talk to me, I'm not your girlfriend-"  
"Oh thank fuck for that!"  
"-You don't owe me anything, Duncan." The two locked eyes across the desk. Bridgette lowered her voice, "But you owe Courtney a hell of a lot."

 

  
Courtney: You've been avoiding me.  
Courtney: Did I do something wrong?  
Duncan: No! It's not you, definitely not you!  
Courtney: That sounds like the start of a break up line.  
Duncan: I never want to break up with you.  
Courtney: It was just a joke, Duncan.  
Courtney: I'm just worried about you. What's going on?  
It's been a while since your last response.  
Courtney: Are you still there?  
Duncan: I'm so sorry. I love you so much.   
Duncan has logged off. 

 

  
It went on for too long. Duncan started calling in sick on short notice from work, just so he wouldn't have to deal with Bridgette.   
Uncle Rick called him into his office sometime mid-February. Duncan was starting to feel stupid as well as guilty.   
"Duncan, I need to know what's going on with you," uncle Rick explained. "You're a good worker, a family friend, but lately...you've been flakey."  
Against his better judgment, Duncan spilled everything. About how jealous he was about the boy who kissed Courtney, but how he couldn't tell her that. About how he had kissed Gwen with that jerk in mind, but how he couldn't tell Courtney that either.  
Duncan always felt so caged, keeping everything bottled up. He had never had anyone to express his feelings to before. His dad didn't care, his older brothers would take the piss out of him. Geoff was around sometimes, but Duncan feared Geoff would say something to Bridgette. That was not what he needed.   
"You have to go through the worst to get to the best," uncle Rick sighed. He seemed oddly compassionate towards Duncan's situation. "We always hurt the ones we love the most, Duncan. But you should try to ease the blow as best as you can. I'm not saying that what you did was by any means reasonable, and you don't deserve Courtney's forgiveness, but that doesn't mean she won't forgive you. The only way you're going to find out is if you tell her the truth."  
This was Duncan's biggest nightmare. It was Courtney, the person he loved with all his heart. He doubted she would feel the same way after this. 

 

  
_Dear Courtney,_   
_I'm a jerk. It's nothing you didn't know. I can't tell you why I'm a jerk in a letter, that would be wrong of me. I'd like to tell you in person, but I can't wait until summer to do that. As soon as you get this letter, give me a call. I'd you call you myself but I'm also a coward._   
_I want you to know how sorry I am. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible for me to love someone. You changed everything I used to believe in. You changed me. And not in a bad way, either, like I did think you would. Everything you have done for me, for my life, I'm never not going to be grateful._   
_I think of that morning when we woke up on New Years, the first time round, and I regret every decision I made to not chase after you when you pushed me away. This year you made me believe in second chances. I've had so many second chances in life, and I've blown them all. This was the second chance I wanted to keep._   
_But I can't pretend that I did. I can't lie to you, Courtney. I can't lie to you and I can't face you because then I'd have to tell you the truth and it's fucking killing me._   
_I'm sorry._   
_You mean more to me than I ever imagined you would._   
_I know I could text or email or IM you, but I know you like letters. We haven't written enough letters._   
_Waiting on your call._   
_All my love,_   
_Duncan._

 

  
"Thought you'd had your head cut off in work," Courtney muttered. "You know how dangerous those run down cars can be."   
"I'm so sorry."  
"For what, Duncan? For ignoring me? For making me doubt myself? For making me feel worthless? Like I'm some sort of plaything that you've finally gotten bored with? Or is it something I don't know about?" Courtney's voice got more demanding the longer she spoke. "Last time you acted like this it was because of Scott, you were jealous of Scott. So what is it this time?"  
Duncan's head was pounding. He buried his face in his pillow, hoping it would all disappear. All he could hear was Courtney's impatient breathing down the phone line.   
He rolled over, eyes staring at the white ceiling as he said, "I kissed another girl."   
It didn't happen immediately, more like a fraction of a second later, when the news had settled, but Courtney did hang up the phone.   
Duncan called her again. Courtney didn't answer. So he called again. But Courtney ignored him the second time, the third time, the fourth time, and every time following that.   
Everything Duncan held close to him shattered before his own eyes.


End file.
